Rebecca: Well you used to be the boss. How did you feel when people lied to you?
Sam: I had a rule, when anyone ever lied to me they had to go to bed with me.
Rebecca: That's one way to make sure it won't happen again.

Rebecca: Well, everyone, you are looking at a winner.
Carla: You were the best kisser upper? Gee what does that trophy look like?

Rebecca: What the hell's in the box?
Woody: Those are my bees, Miss Howe.
Rebecca: Enough said.
Woody: Can I keep them in there until the end of the day?
Rebecca: Sure, anything you want. In my mood I'll agree to anything.
Sam: Sounds like my cue.

Rebecca: Who's birthday? One of your kids?
Carla: Yeah right, you see a file in it? Today happens to be Elvis Presley's birthday.
Norm: Celebrating the birthday of a dead guy. That's kind of ghoulish, isn't it? I don't know how you could stomach something like that.
Carla: It's double mocha chocolate fudge.
Norm: Long live the king.

Rebecca: You know when I was a kid I was the first one in my class to, you know, develop breasts. They teased me the whole year.
Norm: Oh yeah? Me too.

Rebecca: Your husband came onto me at a local bar.
Valerie: Do you mean he propositioned you?
Rebecca: Well he didn't exactly proposition me.
Valerie: Well what exactly did he do?
Rebecca: He asked me about my feelings.
Valerie: That is his field you know.
Rebecca: That isn't all he did. He rubbed my leg with his disgusting foot.
Sam: [to maid] She never gets tired of telling this part.
Season 8

Rebecca:Sam, he (the critique) wants me to compromise myself
Sam:Honey,we all do.
Carla refuses to let Frasier help her conquer her fear of flying.

Robin: What about a friendly game of pool?
Sam: No, I never like to nail a guy twice in one afternoon.
Carla: You haven't lived.

Sam: [about Diane] I was afraid I was going to walk in here today and see her face everywhere I looked. Instead what I saw was all these silly changes you made.
Rebecca: I happen to think it's...
Sam: No, no, it's good. It helped me. What I'm trying to say is this place is the closest thing I have close to a real home. I want to come back. Please.
Rebecca: I'm very sorry, Mr. Malone. I wish I could help.

Sam: [about his beard] So you really think it looks sexy, huh?
Rebecca: Oh yes, Yasser Arafat always makes me hot!

Sam: [about Rebecca] It doesn't seem fair, does it? I spent three years loosening the cap on that peanut butter jar and right now she's stickin' to the roof of somebody else's mouth.

Sam: [about Rebecca] This is getting insulting. You know I don't think she respects us.
Woody: What do you mean "us", Sam? You're the one who goofed up that champagne thing.
Sam: Come on, man. We're a team.
Woody: Is that the insulting part?

Sam: [about some gay customers] What do you think I should say to them?
Diane: Oh well, it's very very simple. Just walk up and say hello we're a group of sniveling bigots and we don't care for your kind.
Cliff: That's good.

Sam: [Calling Carla in a hotel room, worried Hank may die if he's allowed to have sex with her] What should I say?
Norm: Ask her to look next to her and count the dead people.

Sam: [on the phone with Rebecca] I'll be over as soon as I can. [hangs up] Shoot.
Woody: Who was that?
Sam: Ah, it's Rebecca; she's all upset. Your father-in-law invited her over to his place to listen to music tonight. She thought she was supposed to be his date; got all dressed up in a fancy dress. Turns out she's only there to tend bar.
Woody: How could she make that mistake?
Sam: Oh, come on, Woody. Put yourself in her position: you know, attractive guy asks you over to his place to listen to some music, wants you to wear a fancy dress... you'd go wouldn't you?
Woody: Oh, no. No, my high school drama teacher tried that one on me. "Once bitten, twice shy," my friend.