Cheers quotes
515 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Season 11
Diane: You know Cliff, if it's true that a little knowledge is dangerous, you are a walking time bomb.
Diane: You know, Sam. If I am to serve both as a waitress and the butt of jokes I think I should make more money.
Carla: Yeah, what does a good butt make in this town?
...
Sam: [to Diane] We all know that you'd starve to death before you made a living with your body.
Carla: Yeah, what does a good butt make in this town?
...
Sam: [to Diane] We all know that you'd starve to death before you made a living with your body.
Diane: You're offended because she thought you were a scum bag?
Sam: No. I actually like that.
Sam: No. I actually like that.
Diane: You've been with a lot of women.
Sam: No, I have not. There have not been that many women. I just exaggerated here in the bar. There have not been that many.
Diane: How many have there been?
Sam: Oh, I don't know. Maybe four hun-- [Diane gasps] Honeys. Honeys. Four honeys.
Sam: No, I have not. There have not been that many women. I just exaggerated here in the bar. There have not been that many.
Diane: How many have there been?
Sam: Oh, I don't know. Maybe four hun-- [Diane gasps] Honeys. Honeys. Four honeys.
Doris: Cliff, when you get out of the service, could we go out together?
Cliff: You know Doris, there's actually no rule against mailmen dating women. It just sort of turns out that way.
Cliff: You know Doris, there's actually no rule against mailmen dating women. It just sort of turns out that way.
Drake: I'll be straight with you, Sam. Sure, we originally hired you to pitch for the softball team. But actually you turned out to be somewhat of a surprise.
Sam: Oh?
Drake: Yeah, yeah. You're a much better hitter than we anticipated.
Sam: Oh?
Drake: Yeah, yeah. You're a much better hitter than we anticipated.
Eddie: Hey, are the kids home? I haven't talked to them since I got back. I want to give them a call.
Carla: Oh yeah go ahead. Just make sure you identify yourself by name. Just saying "It's dad" leaves too much confusion.
Carla: Oh yeah go ahead. Just make sure you identify yourself by name. Just saying "It's dad" leaves too much confusion.
Eddie: What is so bad? Twins means we're twice blessed.
Sam: Yeah, I had twins once and it was the happiest day of my life.
Sam: Yeah, I had twins once and it was the happiest day of my life.
Esther: I can love you both for different reasons; Woody, I can love you because you're generous, kind, and strong, and Clifford, I can love you because I'm your biological mother and nature dictates there be a bond.
Esther: Oh look there's your favorite hiding place in the closet. You used to be in there for hours.
Cliff: It's cause you always locked the door on me, Ma.
Esther: Well look at the result. You're a very polite young man.
Cliff: It's cause you always locked the door on me, Ma.
Esther: Well look at the result. You're a very polite young man.
Frasier: [about Diane's husband] If she's left him a shred of manhood it's only because she's waiting for the right moment to flick it away like the last shriveled pea on her plate. Thank God I'm over her. Hit me, Woody! Four fingers of the meanest swill you got!
Frasier: [about Frederick and Sam] Isn't it sweet? My son and babysitter passed out in a bar.
Frasier: [about his mother in law] I suppose it's wrong of me to blame Betty for all our problems. I'm sure I'm not the way she wants me to be either.
Woody: How does she want you to be, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Well... dead. The thing that really drives me crazy is the unrelenting tension between Lilith and her mother. You know, Lilith just holds it all in. She has to unload it somewhere and guess who gets to listen to it endlessly.
Woody: Apparently me, Dr. Crane.
Woody: How does she want you to be, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Well... dead. The thing that really drives me crazy is the unrelenting tension between Lilith and her mother. You know, Lilith just holds it all in. She has to unload it somewhere and guess who gets to listen to it endlessly.
Woody: Apparently me, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: [about Lillith] Oh God I'm losing her, Sam.
Sam: Will you stop that? You're my friend, I'm never going to take a woman away from you.
Frasier: What about Diane?
Sam: And didn't God punish me with a vengeance?
Frasier: Well, yes, but gee whiz.
Sam: Will you stop that? You're my friend, I'm never going to take a woman away from you.
Frasier: What about Diane?
Sam: And didn't God punish me with a vengeance?
Frasier: Well, yes, but gee whiz.