[Fez reports to the gang about sleeping with Nina]
Jackie: No way, Fez I can't believe you finally lost your virginity.
Eric: Wait, this isn't like the time you bought a hamster, named it Virginity and then lost it, is it?
Fez: No, this is the real thing.
Kelso: I had a hamster once. Tied him to a helium balloon with a note. He made it all the way to Minnesota.
Eric: Alive?
Kelso: No, I'm gonna send a dead hamster up in a balloon.

[Having seen Hyde kiss Jackie at the garage, Eric and Donna try to make Kelso not see it]
Kelso: No, but I want a peanut butter and banana-[sees Hyde and Jackie; laughs] Why is Hyde kissing Jackie? [sees Eric and Donna's stares] What the hell? He's dead! [tries to walk out of kitchen]

[Hyde, Kelso, Fez, and Jackie go into a Circle and talk about Leo, who left Hyde]
Hyde: [laughs] Can't close my mouth. Can you close your mouth? Really startin' to freak me out. Leo's the best.
Kelso: Leo made me a grilled cheese once. He used butter and it made the crust extra toasty. He forgot cheese. I miss that grilled cheese-makin' son of a bitch!
Jackie: You know one time, I heard Leo talking on the phone and he was speaking Chinese. So I said, 'Leo, stop speaking Chinese.' So he turned around...and it wasn't Leo. It was a Chinese guy. Hmm. You know, I'll never forget that.
Fez: I'm just sad I'll never get to see his face when I tell him I did it with Nina. Actually, I'd like to see my face when I do it with Nina. I'll bet I look like a stallion.
Hyde: So today we sit in this circle in honor of Leo. He was my boss. He was my friend. He was my connection. To Leo!
All: To Leo! [raise beer cans to ceiling]

[Jackie explains to Hyde her moment with Kelso in the previous episode]
Jackie: ...and that's when you saw us, but I swear nothing happened!
Hyde: Jackie, stop talking! Look I know all this now okay. But before I knew I was at the hotel last night, and I was really mad, there was this nurse...and-
Jackie: And what? [gives him a mean look and he looks really sorry]
Hyde: And I'm really sorry okay. I promise it'll never happen again.
Jackie: [voice breaking up] That's exactly what Michael used to say!
Hyde: C'mon Jackie-
Jackie: No, you know what Steven, I'm sorry. It's over. [gets out of the car and walks away]
Hyde: [turns on radio] Huh, finally get country music.

[Kelso is angry at Eric and Donna for not telling him about Hyde and Jackie]
Kelso: I can't believe that you knew that Jackie and Hyde were together and you didn't tell me.
Eric: We...barely knew.
Donna: Yeah, we knew, but we were in denial because it's so unnatural.
Eric: Like radioactive spiders.
Kelso: Well, that's true. It's just, how could Hyde do this to me?
[Kitty and Fez walk down the stairs.]
Kitty: Uh-oh, sounds like he knows.
Fez: Finally.
Kelso: What, your mom knew?! And Fez?! Fez never knows anything!

[Kelso just hit a police car]
Fez: I cannot believe you hit a police car.
Kelso: Nah, don't worry. It's a hot lady cop. Yah, just watch the master.
Officer Debbie: License and registration.
Kelso: Yeah, just give me a sec here. My wallet gets stuck ��cause I've been workin' out. My leg muscles are huge. Oh boy. By the way, I can bench about 220 so that'd be about - two of you little lady.
Officer Debbie: What's your name?
Fez: Oh my name is Fez, but I have a girlfriend so you need to cool it little girl.
Officer Debbie: Yeah, I'll try. Okay Mr. Kelso, I'm gonna issue you a citation. [gives Kelso a ticket]
Kelso: Wooh, a citation for bein' too foxy in a school zone.
Officer Debbie: No. A citation for 64 dollars. Bench press that.

[Kelso's playing with his BB gun]
Eric: Watch the gun, Cool Hand Luke.
Kelso: [stands up] Relax. Guns don't just go off by accident.
Donna: Oh really? What about Eric's fourth-grade hamster, Snowball?
Eric: What? No, Snowball didn't get shot. He went upstate to live with a nice farm family. [catches on] You shot Snowball?!!
Kelso: The gun went off by accident!

[Kitty catches Hyde and Jackie kissing.]
Kitty: Oh, good God. You kids switch partners more than square dancers!
Hyde: No, it's not what you think. We're not together.
Kitty: Then what's going on in my kitchen?
Jackie: Eric's in California! [Kitty leaves the kitchen.]
Hyde: Jackie, you just totally burned Forman. That is so badass. [They go back to kissing]

[Kitty gives Red Belgian waffles for breakfast]
Kitty: Here you go Red, Belgian waffles.
Eric: What's so Belgian about them?
Red: They crumbled at the hands of the Nazis.

[Kitty just told Red and Eric about Jackie's father being arrested for bribery]
Red: Well, I'm glad. That guy makes Republicans look like a bunch of crooks and greedy businessmen.
Eric: [sarcastically] Thank God for the honest ones like Richard Nixon, huh?
Red: What did you say?
Eric: Nixon was framed and Kennedy was a commie!
Red: That's right.

[Kitty talks to her mother about entering menopause]
Kitty: Did it hit you this hard too?
Bea Sigurdson: Did what, dear?
Kitty: Menopause.
Bea: Ohhh...I never had it.
Kitty: Mom, everybody has it.
Bea: Well, I've always been quite health-conscious. I told you to eat more vegetables!
Kitty: You cannot expect me to believe that you never went through menopause.
Bea: Well, I didn't.
Kitty: Yes, you did!
Bea: Well, it doesn't matter because it's not nice to talk about.
Kitty: Not everything that needs to be talked about has to be nice. Mom, why wouldn't you ever really talk to me?
Bea: I told you I liked your cookies! I'm gonna find your father. [leaves kitchen] BURT!

[Kitty, Red and the gang catches Eric and Donna having sex on the kitchen table]
Kitty: OH MY GOD!
Donna: Oh my God!
Hyde: Alright! It's Donna's butt!
Red: DAMN IT!! That's where I eat dinner!

[Red dreams of winning the canoe competition at the Battle of the Network Stars]
Kelso: [as announcer] And the canoeing champion for this year's Battle of the Network Stars is...Red Forman!
Jamie Farr: My team! [presents trophy to Red]
Red Forman: Thanks, Jamie Farr, and I'd like to give a special thanks to Ed Asner. Ed, thanks for paddling your canoe like a girl. Where's your spunk now, you big pansy? [laughs holding trophy high]

[Red is having a heart attack because Fez and Laurie broke the news of their marriage]
Fez: Hang on, Dad.
Red: Kitty?
Kitty: Yes, Red?
Red: If I don't make it, kill the foreigner!
Season 6

[Red is pleased with Eric's new job at Joanne's dog food factory]
Red: Look at you. You got that great dog food job now. And plenty of dog food money comin' in. I mean ... you two are happy, right?
Donna: Very happy.
Eric: Yes.
Red: Of course you are. And that's why I've changed my mind. This promising new career in dog food has convinced me ... that you two are mature enough to get married.
Eric: Wha-Are, are you serious?
Red: Absolutely! Hey! Let's get you happy kids hitched as soon as possible! Like next week!
Donna: Next week? Wow that's, that's really soon.
Eric: Yeah, well sooner than we thought. We were thinkin' like ... someday.
Donna: Yeah, yeah someday. That's good.