Cheers quotes
515 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
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Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
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Season 9
Season 10
Season 11
Norm: Well I guess I better go call Vera back.
Cliff: What are you talking about? She didn't call.
Norm: Yes, she did. Yesterday. Something about a flat tire, interstate. What the hell's the number of that call box?
Cliff: What are you talking about? She didn't call.
Norm: Yes, she did. Yesterday. Something about a flat tire, interstate. What the hell's the number of that call box?
Norm: Well I have to say the mechanical bull is like the most useless thing put in a bar.
Cliff: Now, Norm.
Norm: Present company excepted.
Cliff: Now, Norm.
Norm: Present company excepted.
Norm: What do you want to do tonight, Cliff?
Cliff: Eh, I dunno, what do you want to do?
Norm: I dunno.
Rebecca: You guys, you do this all day long for hours!
Cliff: Face it Rebecca, we're bored, nothing ever happens around here.
[enter Andy Andy covered in dynamite]
Rebecca: [gasps] Oh my God!
Norm: Hey, it's Andy Andy.
Rebecca: What, you know this person?!
Cliff: Yeah, former major felon. Once killed a waitress.
Andy Andy: Where's Diane? I demand to see Diane!!!
Woody: Well, Miss Chambers hasn't worked here for 5 or 6 years.
Andy Andy: Oh really? Well, okay.
[walks out]
Cliff: So, what do you want to do?
[Rebecca turns around and gives them a look of disbelief]
Cliff: Eh, I dunno, what do you want to do?
Norm: I dunno.
Rebecca: You guys, you do this all day long for hours!
Cliff: Face it Rebecca, we're bored, nothing ever happens around here.
[enter Andy Andy covered in dynamite]
Rebecca: [gasps] Oh my God!
Norm: Hey, it's Andy Andy.
Rebecca: What, you know this person?!
Cliff: Yeah, former major felon. Once killed a waitress.
Andy Andy: Where's Diane? I demand to see Diane!!!
Woody: Well, Miss Chambers hasn't worked here for 5 or 6 years.
Andy Andy: Oh really? Well, okay.
[walks out]
Cliff: So, what do you want to do?
[Rebecca turns around and gives them a look of disbelief]
Norm: Yeah, Cliffy had himself the "Ton O' T-Bone". For less than four bucks you get 24 ounces of USDA Choice "bef".
Cliff: Bef? No, you mean beef.
Norm: Beef? Don't be ridiculous, Cliffy. That stuff is "bef". You see it's a Hungry Heifer trademark for a processed, synthetic � what � meat-like substance.
Cliff: Ah, no.
Norm: What do you expect for four bucks? You see me complainin' about the "loobster"?
Cliff: Bef? No, you mean beef.
Norm: Beef? Don't be ridiculous, Cliffy. That stuff is "bef". You see it's a Hungry Heifer trademark for a processed, synthetic � what � meat-like substance.
Cliff: Ah, no.
Norm: What do you expect for four bucks? You see me complainin' about the "loobster"?
Norm: Your ma's in town?
Cliff: Yup.
Norm: Why don't you pick her up?
Cliff: No, Normie that would set exactly the wrong tone for this visit. I know why she's here. She wants to move back in with me. But she can just forget it. I tell you. She's not going to be running my life like she did when I was in my mid-30s. No siree sir.
Woody: I don't get it, Mr. Clavin. I thought you liked your ma a lot.
Norm: A whole lot.
Frasier: Too much to be healthy really.
Cliff: Yup.
Norm: Why don't you pick her up?
Cliff: No, Normie that would set exactly the wrong tone for this visit. I know why she's here. She wants to move back in with me. But she can just forget it. I tell you. She's not going to be running my life like she did when I was in my mid-30s. No siree sir.
Woody: I don't get it, Mr. Clavin. I thought you liked your ma a lot.
Norm: A whole lot.
Frasier: Too much to be healthy really.
Norm: [Rebecca's] taken to replacing the beer nuts to these little candy hearts that say "Hold me," "I'm yours," "Lovey dovey." Hey "Free beer."
Woody: Oh no Mr. Peterson, you fooled me once.
Woody: Oh no Mr. Peterson, you fooled me once.
Paul: Where's Norm and Cliff?
Woody: I guess they're at work. I don't know.
Paul: You've got a cute sense of humor, Woody. I like that.
Woody: I guess they're at work. I don't know.
Paul: You've got a cute sense of humor, Woody. I like that.
Pete: I wonder what's wrong with Carla.
Cliff: We all know what's wrong with Carla, but I'm the only one with enough courage to say it. Not enough bran.
[Carla pushes Cliff off his stool]
Cliff: We all know what's wrong with Carla, but I'm the only one with enough courage to say it. Not enough bran.
[Carla pushes Cliff off his stool]
Phillip: That's the face I've been looking for.
Diane: Sorry, I'm still using it. I could let you visit it on weekends.
Diane: Sorry, I'm still using it. I could let you visit it on weekends.
Phyllis: Oh, Norm. Where did we go wrong?.
Norm: I don't know. I've been racking my brain trying to figure it out. I mean, day after day, night after night, I sit on that stool out there wondering: why did she lose interest in me?
Norm: I don't know. I've been racking my brain trying to figure it out. I mean, day after day, night after night, I sit on that stool out there wondering: why did she lose interest in me?
Rebecca: 18 years old and ready to take on the world.
Woody: Wait a minute. You were 18 when you graduated from high school? What, did daddy pull some strings?
Woody: Wait a minute. You were 18 when you graduated from high school? What, did daddy pull some strings?
Rebecca: The Globe's doing an article on women who run pubs and now he wants to take my picture. I really dread this.
Sam: Why?
Rebecca: Because I get so tensed up in front of a camera. All of a sudden I look like something the cat coughed up.
Carla: Oooh, can I have an 8x10 for my mantlepiece?
Rebecca: How about a 2x4 for your bridgework?
Sam: Why?
Rebecca: Because I get so tensed up in front of a camera. All of a sudden I look like something the cat coughed up.
Carla: Oooh, can I have an 8x10 for my mantlepiece?
Rebecca: How about a 2x4 for your bridgework?
Rebecca: [about Sam] What does it mean when you can't turn on the horniest guy that ever lived? I am really getting old.
Carla: Rebecca, will you stop being ridiculous? You're still a young, beautiful, vibrant woman with her whole life ahead of her.
Rebecca: You're just saying that.
Carla: Yes, I am. I was taught to humor old folks.
Carla: Rebecca, will you stop being ridiculous? You're still a young, beautiful, vibrant woman with her whole life ahead of her.
Rebecca: You're just saying that.
Carla: Yes, I am. I was taught to humor old folks.
Rebecca: [about sky diving] I just think it's really exciting - the danger of drifting through space. You know, talk about a turn on.
Sam: Please do.
Sam: Please do.