NCIS quotes

1049 total quotes



Tony: I think Sa'id copied Paula's key without her knowing it. 
Gibbs: Now which brain is thinking that, DiNozzo?
Tony: (visibly angry with Gibbs) I'm hitting the rack. 

Tony: Listen kid, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type.
McGee: I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about?
Tony: [nods] 
McGee: I went with Mom.
Tony: [stands there in shock, realizing McGee just got a tattoo on his butt to impress Abby] 
[Later]
Kate: I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless?
Gibbs: He told him he got a tat on his ass.
Kate: [Gapes at the elevator McGee just entered]

Tony: No boss, you don't understand. I love Puerto Rico.
Kate: Been there a lot?
Tony: [excited at the beginning...trailing off at the end] No that's just it, I've never been there... I mean I'm so wanting to go. Ever since I was a kid I was just...so wanting...sorry...I just always...
Gibbs: [deadpan] Wanted to be there.
Tony: Yeah.

Tony: Normally I hate priority rides, but who cares if it's going to...
Gibbs: What's wrong with priority rides?
Tony: C'mon boss. You tellin' me you like sitting on canvas seats slung between cargo pallets?
Gibbs: Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm back in the Corps.
[Later]
Tony: [laughs, while on a Gulfstream Aircraft] I love priority rides. Boss, this is the best.
Gibbs: I miss canvas seats.

Tony: Remember the good ol' days, Kate?
Kate: What good old days?
Tony: When Gibbs would confide in us and treat us like peers.
Kate: (incredulously) No.
Tony: Good. I thought it was just me.

Tony: She sleeps with a gun under her pillow, boss.
Gibbs: That true?
Kate: Maybe... sometimes... yes.
Gibbs: Good girl!

Tony: That's kinda touching, Gibbs, remembering the day you hired me.
Gibbs: Yeah, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Tony: The eyes need to be bigger.
Kate: The eyes are fine, the nose needs to be bigger.
Tony: Fine, I'll put out an APB for Pinocchio.
Gibbs: Welcome to my world, Abby.

Tony: The golf clubs belonged to his RIO, Lt. Lynch.
Kate: RIO?
Tony: Radar Intercept Officer. Also called a GIBs, one B - short for guy in back.
Kate: [to Gibbs] What do you need two B's for?
Gibbs: Second one's for bastard.

Tony: This kid wanted to be a paramedic - Sgt. Alvarez told him the Marine Corps would "train him to save lives."
Kate: What's wrong with that?
Gibbs: The Marine Corps doesn't have medical personnel.
Tony: They're all Navy.
Gibbs: Technically it is true, Marines do save lives. Mostly through the use of superior firepower.

Tony: We gotta do something, boss.
Gibbs: Have you ever made a mistake, Tony?
Tony: According to you or me?
Gibbs: You.
Tony: Yeah.
Gibbs: Could anyone make you feel better?
Tony: No.

Tony: Well that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling doesn't it?
Gerald: What?
Tony: That Gibbs trusts us with a contaminated crime scene.

Tony: Well, what's wrong, other than the Hamas guy?
Gibbs: The Hamas guy! You know: the terrorist, the bastard, the ass! We call him everything but his name. You know why that is?
Tony: Because we don't know his name?
Gibbs: Because you're not working a hot case. I want his name! I want it today! And don't tell me it's Moby Dick!

Tony: What's up Abbs?
Abby: Something's...
Tony: Hinky?

Tony: What's your chute number?
Marine: Four.
Tony: Four's unlucky in China.
Gibbs: We're not in China.