Friends quotes

613 total quotes



All Seasons
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Joey: I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Rachel:[After a moment] Who you talking to?

Joey: If I don't get this part, I'm never gonna eat macaroni and cheese again.. [After a second] I didn't say that.. That doesn't count

Joey: If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, homo sapiens, is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, Homo sapiens are people.
Joey: Hey, hey, I'm not judging!

Joey: In my spare time, I, uh, read to the blind. And I'm also a mento for kids.
Interviewer: A "mento"?
Joey: You know, a mento. A role model.
Interviewer: A men-to.
Joey: Right.
Interviewer: Like the candy?
Joey: As a matter of fact, I do.

Joey: It was awkward. We were both nervous.
Phoebe: Didn't you sleep together ?
Joey: Yeah.. That really calms me down..

Joey: It's never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Monica: It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.

Joey: Jump off the high dive, stare into the barrel of a gun, pee into the wind!
Chandler: Joey, I assure you, if I were staring into the barrel of a gun, I would be pretty much peeing every which-way.

Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama she thinks she's like, the greatest actress since, since...sliced bread!
Chandler: Ahh, sliced bread. A wonderful Lady Macbeth.

Joey: Know any bird calls?
Chandler: Oh tons, I'm quite the woodsman.

Joey: Look at this clown. Just 'cause he got a bigger boat, he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way, jackass! Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coast is way over there.

Joey: Look, it's not that big a deal. So Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Rachel: I cannot believe you would say that!
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are "making love."

Joey: Man.. I'm starving. What was I thinking at dinner ? "Do you want soup or salad?" Both.. Always order both..

Joey: Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...
Phoebe: You know he's gay?
Ross: I just wanna clarify this: Are you outing Mr. Peanut?

Joey: My agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Phoebe: Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
Chandler: Hey, yeah, we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.

Joey: My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Chandler: Joey... Switzerland?