Amy: I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of "Emily".
Ross: Emma.
Amy: [to Phoebe] Emma, Ross wants you.
Phoebe: PHOEBE!
Amy: [whispers to Ross] Why does she keep making that noise?

Amy: You know, this is classic Rachel!
Rachel: Yeah, right! Remember in high school, when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a child. You know that I've been busy focusing on my career.
Rachel: What career?
Amy: I'm a decorator!
Rachel: You decorate Dad's office and you're a decorator! Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday. Now I'm a koala bear!
Amy: Why can't you be supportive?
Rachel: You want to talk supportive? You didn't come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby!
Amy: You didn't come and see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done!
Rachel: I did the first time! And do you want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you?
Ross: It's Emma.
Rachel: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?! [to Amy] I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responsibility of a child!
Amy: How hard could it be? You do it! [Joey laughs but stops when everyone stares at him.] You want to know why you don't want me to have the baby? Because you don't want me to be happy! You have always been jealous of me!
Rachel: Of what? Your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? Your total disregard for other peoples' feelings?
Amy: To name a few!

Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.

Chandler: Honey? Leave it to the pros.

Chandler: How hard can it be, right? "Cheese. It's milk that you chew." "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy." "A grape. Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?"

Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! [Sits down at the table]
Monica: [Without looking up from what she's doing] Besides tampons and salt? [;;Then looks] Ooh! My...! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. [Opens the box] That's weird... it's empty!
[Then Ross enters]
Ross: [Sounds excited] Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out... or... ? [Looks around the room nervously] do you... do you guys hear a buzzing?

Chandler: No, no we're not together. We're not a couple- we're definitely not a couple.
Saleswoman: Oh! Sorry.
Joey: Wow, you, uh, you seem pretty insulted by that. What, I'm not good enough for you?
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again.

Chandler: Phones: bringing you closer to people...who have phones.

Chandler: Today is the 6th.
Monica: No. [Shows Chandler a calendar]
Chandler: Yes. It's also 2003.
Monica: That means I may be done ovulating! I may also have served some very questionable meat at the restaurant!

Chandler: You got a male nanny? You got a manny?

Joey:Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!"

Mike: Hey, when did we become one of those couple who let our rat babies control our lives?

Monica: Wendy's a fat girls name.
Phoebe: Are we still on that?
Monica: No, you're right. Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about snow. Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband's having sex on a copying machine?

Monica: "Marriage. It's not for everybody."

Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... [reads from the screen] "gay as the day is long"?