Friends quotes
613 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5
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Chandler [imitating Roger]: "Here's some little-known facts about couscous: they didn't add the second cous until 1979."
Chandler: [offering Joey a game of Playstation] Hi, my name's Chandler! I just moved in next door, and I was wondering if you'd be interested in battling me in a post-apocalyptic world for control of the galaxy's last remaining energy source.
Joey: Sure.
Joey: Sure.
Chandler: Ah, "Hotties of the Paleontology Department." There's a big-selling calendar, eh?
Chandler: Here is the phone bill.
Joey: Oh, my...!!
Chandler: That's our phone number.
Joey: Oh, my...!!
Chandler: That's our phone number.
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die!
[Phoebe stares at him angrily.]
Chandler: But you're not gonna die... I mean... you -- you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today... I wish I was dead.
[Phoebe stares at him angrily.]
Chandler: But you're not gonna die... I mean... you -- you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today... I wish I was dead.
Chandler: I mean, if you're not careful, you may not get married at all this year.
Chandler: Ross, just for my own peace of mind -- you're not married to any more of us, are you?
Chandler: You don't look good, Joe.
Joey: The fridge broke, so I had to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Oh, and what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?
Joey: Not any more. By the way, you owe me $400.
Chandler: Is this a service you're providing me?
Joey: The fridge broke, so I had to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. Oh, and what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?
Joey: Not any more. By the way, you owe me $400.
Chandler: Is this a service you're providing me?
Joey: Altogether, It's $12.75 .
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldn't split our $80 phone bill in half.
Chandler: This coming from the man who couldn't split our $80 phone bill in half.
Joey: I can't believe Ross went out with Rachel's sister! When Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for ten years.
Chandler: That was, like, five years ago.
Joey: Yeah, you got five years left!
Chandler: Joey --
Joey: You wanna make it six?
Chandler: That was, like, five years ago.
Joey: Yeah, you got five years left!
Chandler: Joey --
Joey: You wanna make it six?
Joey: If I don't get this part, I'm never gonna eat macaroni and cheese again.. [After a second] I didn't say that.. That doesn't count
Joey: Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Chandler: [mockingly] Yeah. So, Tuesday?
Joey: Thursday! Look, if you need help remembering, think of it like this: the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?
Chandler: Thank you.
Chandler: [mockingly] Yeah. So, Tuesday?
Joey: Thursday! Look, if you need help remembering, think of it like this: the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?
Chandler: Thank you.
Joey: Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche?
Passer-by: Maybe because you've got the keys?
Passer-by: Maybe because you've got the keys?
Joey: Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies. And you know about Naked Thursdays, right?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah. I think I'm gonna find my own place.
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing, man!
Rachel: Yeah, yeah. I think I'm gonna find my own place.
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing, man!
Joey: You're gonna cook something?
Rachel: Hey, I cook!
Chandler: Offering people gum is not cooking.
Rachel: Hey, I cook!
Chandler: Offering people gum is not cooking.