Friends quotes
613 total quotesAll Seasons
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[At Ross´s Conference]
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
[Joey laughs]
Charlie: What?
Joey: He said "erectus"!
Charlie: You're... you're kidding, right?
Joey: No, he really said it.
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
[Rachel laughs]
Joey: Erectus?
Rachel: Homo.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
[Joey laughs]
Charlie: What?
Joey: He said "erectus"!
Charlie: You're... you're kidding, right?
Joey: No, he really said it.
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
[Rachel laughs]
Joey: Erectus?
Rachel: Homo.
[Chandler and Joey are talking like cavemen.]
Chandler: Men are here.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing. No get invited back.
Chandler: Men are here.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing. No get invited back.
[Chandler enters the apartment to find Joey working with wood and the apartment filled with lumber.]
Chandler: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Hey, hey, hey... so what happened -- did a forest tick you off?
Joey: You know how you're always saying we need a place for the mail?
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Well, I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You're building a post office?
Chandler: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Hey, hey, hey... so what happened -- did a forest tick you off?
Joey: You know how you're always saying we need a place for the mail?
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Well, I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You're building a post office?
[Chandler has just told Eddie to get out of his apartment]
Eddie: Well, that's kinda outta the blue.
Chandler: [Angry] THIS IS NOT OUT OF THE BLUE! THIS IS SMACK-DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLUE!
Eddie: Well, that's kinda outta the blue.
Chandler: [Angry] THIS IS NOT OUT OF THE BLUE! THIS IS SMACK-DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLUE!
[Chandler is putting the duck in the hall]
Chandler: Now you just stay out here, and think about what you did!
Chandler: Now you just stay out here, and think about what you did!
[Chandler is setting the record straight with his mother and Joey's listening in
Joey: [to Ross] ... and then he said, "When are you gonna start acting like my mom?" then she said "When are you
gonna realize I have a bomb?"
Ross: Are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna realize I am your mom?
Joey: Oh... That makes more sense.
Joey: [to Ross] ... and then he said, "When are you gonna start acting like my mom?" then she said "When are you
gonna realize I have a bomb?"
Ross: Are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna realize I am your mom?
Joey: Oh... That makes more sense.
[Chandler walks in on Ross and Rachel]
Chandler: Not to be rude, but does anyone know how to get a chick out of a VCR?
Chandler: Not to be rude, but does anyone know how to get a chick out of a VCR?
[First words of the series and show]
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: Alright Joey, be nice.
Chandler: [to Monica] So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
[The others stare, bemused]
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: Alright Joey, be nice.
Chandler: [to Monica] So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
[The others stare, bemused]
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
[Frank Jr. is doing his own style of martial arts on Monica's balcony, she and Phoebe are watching]
Monica: What kind of martial arts is that?
Phoebe: No kind.
Monica: What kind of martial arts is that?
Phoebe: No kind.
[Janice asks the six Friends if they have ever had sex with each other.]
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Monica: What?
Rachel: Excuse me, there was no time!
Joey: Okay, but let's say there was. How might that go?
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Monica: What?
Rachel: Excuse me, there was no time!
Joey: Okay, but let's say there was. How might that go?
[Joey and Chandler are trying to find Ben with two possible babies to choose from, one wearing a duck shirt, the other clowns, by flipping a coin]
Joey: Let's do ducks for heads, cause ducks have heads
Chandler: [After a pause] What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
Joey: Let's do ducks for heads, cause ducks have heads
Chandler: [After a pause] What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
[Joey and Rachel are waiting for Phoebe to get back from her father's house]
Joey: [Pulling out a sandwich] Want half of my sandwich?
Rachel: What kind is it?
Joey: Ham and olive spread, no mayo.
Rachel: [Sarcastically] Right, right, 'cause mayo would make it gross.
Joey: [Pulling out a sandwich] Want half of my sandwich?
Rachel: What kind is it?
Joey: Ham and olive spread, no mayo.
Rachel: [Sarcastically] Right, right, 'cause mayo would make it gross.
[Joey has just walked into Monica's apartment wearing everything Chandler owns as a comeback in an argument]
Chandler: That is so-not-the-opposite of taking someone's UNDERWEAR!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?!
Chandler: That is so-not-the-opposite of taking someone's UNDERWEAR!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?!
[Joey has spelled out "pleh" in sticks at the rest stop to get rescued]
Chandler: What's that?
Joey: It's "help" spelled backward so the helicopters in sky'll read it right.
Chandler: What's that?
Joey: It's "help" spelled backward so the helicopters in sky'll read it right.