Friends quotes
613 total quotesAll Seasons
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Ross: [spying on Rachel and Mark through the peephole in Chandler and Joey's door] Here they come, here they come. If she kisses him goodnight, I'm gonna kill myself, I swear. I can't watch this. Come on! Date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go. She's going in. She's going in... Wait! He's going in! He's going in! The door's closed! I can't see anything with the door closed!
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
Ross: [talking about the baby's name] Wait a minute, why is Susan's name in it?
Susan: It's my baby, too.
Ross:Funny, I don't remember you making any sperm!
Susan: It's my baby, too.
Ross:Funny, I don't remember you making any sperm!
Ross: [talks to his unborn baby] And everyone's telling me, "You gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major." So on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills any more!
Ross: [To Susan] It's because of you we are stuck here.
Phoebe:Hi I am Ben. Ben to the rescue.
Phoebe:Hi I am Ben. Ben to the rescue.
Ross:Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?
Rachel: [to Joey and Charlie] Oh my, are we supposed to answer?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Rachel: [to Joey and Charlie] Oh my, are we supposed to answer?
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Samantha: Do you know anything about fixing radiators?
Joey: Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way?
Samantha: Of course.
Joey: Oh. Then no.
Joey: Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way?
Samantha: Of course.
Joey: Oh. Then no.
Stoned guy: Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic!
Monica: Oh, gosh, I'm so glad you like them.
Stoned guy: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of 'em!
Monica: Oh... well, um... [chuckles] there's all there is of these. But, in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Stoned guy: Tartlets? Tarlets? Tarlets? Word has lost all meaning.
Monica: Oh, gosh, I'm so glad you like them.
Stoned guy: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of 'em!
Monica: Oh... well, um... [chuckles] there's all there is of these. But, in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Stoned guy: Tartlets? Tarlets? Tarlets? Word has lost all meaning.
Susie: Excuse me. Is your name Chandler?
Chandler: Uh, yes, yes it is.
Susie: Chandler Bing?
Chandler: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
Chandler: Uh, yes, yes it is.
Susie: Chandler Bing?
Chandler: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
Tilly: I'm Tilly. [Chandler freezes]
Chandler:[Chandler freezes] Oh.
Tilly:I can tell by that 'oh' Eddie's spoken of me.
Chandler: Yeah, your name came up... in a conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
Chandler:[Chandler freezes] Oh.
Tilly:I can tell by that 'oh' Eddie's spoken of me.
Chandler: Yeah, your name came up... in a conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
Tommy: [petting a chick in his hand] Mr. Fuzzy Man, how you doin'? Aww... [The chick poos in his hand.] Ew! Oh, ew! Gross! IDIOT! STUPID LITTLE FUZZY YELLOW CREATURE! Ooh, look at me, I'm so cute, I'm a little chick who's DISGUSTING! You're so stupid, how are you not yet extinct?
[The duck, hearing all the commotion, waddles into the kitchen and starts quacking.]
Tommy: Quack quack, quack quack! What are you quacking about? DUMB DONALD DODO!
[Tommy looks up to see the gang in the doorway, staring at him in shock.]
Chandler: Step away from the duck.
[The duck, hearing all the commotion, waddles into the kitchen and starts quacking.]
Tommy: Quack quack, quack quack! What are you quacking about? DUMB DONALD DODO!
[Tommy looks up to see the gang in the doorway, staring at him in shock.]
Chandler: Step away from the duck.
Trudie Styler: Look, I've just pressed a button triggering a silent alarm. Any minute now, the police will be here.
Phoebe: The Police, here? A reunion?
Phoebe: The Police, here? A reunion?
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget
[A bedraggled Phoebe misses Joey's play, having spent all night on the phone while kept on hold by customer service.]
Joey: Hey, Pheebs -- where were ya?
Phoebe: I'm so, so sorry, Joey. I am definitely going to see your play. I swear, your play is very important to us. Thank you for your patience. Your play is the next play I'm gonna see.
Joey: Hey, Pheebs -- where were ya?
Phoebe: I'm so, so sorry, Joey. I am definitely going to see your play. I swear, your play is very important to us. Thank you for your patience. Your play is the next play I'm gonna see.
[After Chandler fools around with one of Joey's sisters.]
Phoebe: How can you not know which one?
Rachel: I mean, that's unbelievable.
Monice: I mean, was it Gina?
Ross: Which one is Gina?
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
Monica: No, no, no, that's Dina.
Chandler: You see, you can't tell which one is which either!
Phoebe: How can you not know which one?
Rachel: I mean, that's unbelievable.
Monice: I mean, was it Gina?
Ross: Which one is Gina?
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
Monica: No, no, no, that's Dina.
Chandler: You see, you can't tell which one is which either!