Friends quotes
613 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Parker: I'm a positive person!
Phoebe: No. I'm a positive person. You are like Santa Claus...on Prozac...in Disneyland...getting laid!
Phoebe: No. I'm a positive person. You are like Santa Claus...on Prozac...in Disneyland...getting laid!
Parker: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: Wrong? Really, you know the word wrong? Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical and aglow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Parker: Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam!
Phoebe: Wrong? Really, you know the word wrong? Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical and aglow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Parker: Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam!
Parker: My God, I don't want to forget this moment! It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all. Click!
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off.
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off.
Parker: To quote Ross, "I better be going!"
Phoebe: Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on the way out!
Phoebe: Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on the way out!
Paul: [to self] Okay, you're doing well. She likes you. And you know why? Because you are a neat guy. You are the man. You are the man! [sings] "I'm just a love machine..."
Phoebe: And I heard him say, as he flew out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"
Joey: Wow, you really wrote that?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: Wow, you really wrote that?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: As of today, my name is Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
Mike: I thought you had to just make your name Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan!
Phoebe: I can change it to anything I want.
Mike: Well, if you can, I can. My name is Crap Bag.
Mike: I thought you had to just make your name Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan!
Phoebe: I can change it to anything I want.
Mike: Well, if you can, I can. My name is Crap Bag.
Phoebe: Have you ever chased someone to the airport before?
Ross: Not since my cop show got canceled.
Ross: Not since my cop show got canceled.
Phoebe: oh my God I killed and this curse is getting stronger too to take a target that big
[The gang is trying to see if Ugly Naked Guy is alive by using a "poking device."]
Phoebe: He's alive! ALIVE!
Monica: And yet we're still poking him.
Joey: Retract the device! Retract the device!
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: And now he's showing us his poking device.
Joey: [to Ugly Naked Guy] Hey, that's never gonna reach all the way over here, buddy!
[The gang is trying to see if Ugly Naked Guy is alive by using a "poking device."]
Phoebe: He's alive! ALIVE!
Monica: And yet we're still poking him.
Joey: Retract the device! Retract the device!
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: And now he's showing us his poking device.
Joey: [to Ugly Naked Guy] Hey, that's never gonna reach all the way over here, buddy!
Phoebe: Oh!
Monica: What?
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Monica: Oh, my...!
Phoebe: Oh, no, wait. Oh, no, the elastic on my underwear busted.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Monica: Oh, my...!
Phoebe: Oh, no, wait. Oh, no, the elastic on my underwear busted.
Phoebe: Ross, How did the conversation go ?
Ross: Great. I live on the street.
Phoebe: Where ?
Ross: Great. I live on the street.
Phoebe: Where ?
Phoebe: [about which route to take to Vegas] Oh, if you take the northern route, there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees.
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Phoebe: But on the southern route, there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Phoebe: But on the southern route, there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Phoebe: [about why she and her twin sister Ursula don't get along] It's mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know. I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking. Even though I did it, later that same day. But to my parents, by then it was like, "Yeah, right, so what else is new?"
Phoebe: [regarding Ross' birthday gift to Rachel] I can't believe he got you that! It must've cost him a fortune!
Chandler: Oh, come on. Ross? Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol and got her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: [Realizing he'd just revealed Ross' feelings, he stumbles] Crystal duck.
Rachel: No, no, the love part.
Chandler: [Hyperventilating] Flennen!
Rachel: Oh, my...!
Chandler: [rubbing his temples] Oh, no, no, no!
Joey: That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time
Chandler: Oh, come on. Ross? Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol and got her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: [Realizing he'd just revealed Ross' feelings, he stumbles] Crystal duck.
Rachel: No, no, the love part.
Chandler: [Hyperventilating] Flennen!
Rachel: Oh, my...!
Chandler: [rubbing his temples] Oh, no, no, no!
Joey: That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time