Mona: There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it. I feel like I'm holding down the fort all by myself.

Monica: [referring to Ross' relationship with the much younger Elizabeth] Now, all jokes aside. Ross, where is this relationship going?
Chandler: Wait a minute. All jokes aside? I didn't agree to that.

Monica: [singing and dancing] Forty-two to twenty-one, like the turkey, Ross is done!

Monica: [to Chandler] All right, I'm gonna show you something a lot of guys don't know. Rach, hand me that pad please.[starts to draw]
Chandler: Well, you don't have to draw an actual woma-- whoa, she's hot.
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones, you got one, two, three... four... five... six and seven.
Chandler: There are seven?
Rachel: Let me see that. Oh. Yep.
Chandler: [points] That's one?
Monica: Kind of an important one.
Chandler: Oh, you know what? I was looking at it upside down.
Rachel: Well, you know, sometimes that helps. [Chandler gapes.]
Monica: All right. Now most guys will hit one, two, three and then go to seven and set up camp.
Chandler: And that's bad?
Rachel: Well, if you go to Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Matterhorn.
Chandler: Well, you might, if it were anything like seven.
Monica: All right. Uh, the important thing is to take your time. You want to hit them all and you want to mix them up. Keep them on their toes.
Rachel: Oooooo, toes! [Chandler stares.] For some people!
Monica: All right. You could start out with a little one, a two, a one two three, a three, a five, a four, a three two, two, a two four six, a two four six, four, two, two, four seven, five seven, six seven, [starts shouting] seven. Seven seven SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN [leans back in ecstasy with eyes closed and holds up the number seven]... And there you are.
Rachel: Yeah, that'll work.
[They stand up awkwardly. Rachel and Monica go in their rooms. Chandler goes into the bathroom. They all shut their doors.]

Monica: I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies. I don't care if the entire cast of Eight Is Enough comes out of there!

Monica: I'm sorry. Who should be along in a what now?

Monica: Joe, Let me ask you question. what does this light switch exactly do ?
Joey: Nothing
Monica: Did it drive you crazy to not know ?
Joey: I know what it did.. Nothing

Monica: We decided to name the baby girl, Erica.
Erica: Hey, that's just like my name!
Monica: Son of a gun, it is.

Monica: Wendy's a fat girls name.
Phoebe: Are we still on that?
Monica: No, you're right. Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about snow. Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband's having sex on a copying machine?

Monica: What if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Chandler: What if it's not? What if it's a king?
Monica: [sarcastically] Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.

Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Chandler: Oh my...
Monica: Chandler... in all my life I never thought I'd be so lucky as to fall in love with my best -- my best -- There's a reason why girls don't do this!
Chandler: Okay, okay, I'll do it. I thought: wait, I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that is that you -- you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Yes! I knew you were likely to take a wife!
Joey: Can we come in yet? We're dying out here!
Monica: Come in! Come in! We're engaged!
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Season 7

Monica: [To Richard] Getting over you was the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, so I don't allow myself to think about you

Monica [gives Joey a jar of jam]: Joey, this is for you. It's blackberry currant.
Joey: Aww. [tastes it] OHHHH!
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked [holds up one hand], or, or a big tub of jam. [holds up the other hand]
Joey: [nods] Put your hands together!

Monica: "Marriage. It's not for everybody."

Monica: [Arriving to the honeymoon hotel with Chandler and seeing that the honeymoon couple who got first class seats on the plane now get the honeymoon suite] No! No! No! You cannot do this to us again!
Man: Who are you?
Chandler: We're you 10 seconds later!
Monica: Everyone gives you special treatment because your on your honeymoon!The first class tickets, the honeymoon suite! No one cares that we're on our honeymoon!
Girl: Well take the suite if you want. [Hands them the keys] We don't need the stuff.
Man: We just wanna be together, were in love.
Chandler:Awwww... Well we need the stuff!