Friends quotes

613 total quotes



All Seasons
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Monica: [Browsing through their CD's] Honey, the Miami Vice Soundtrack, really?
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store... in exchange for money.

Monica: [looking over possible sperm donors] Okay, all right, how's this? 27, Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. [Everyone looks at Joey] Oh, my God. Under personal comments: "New York Knicks rule!"
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!

Monica: [to Janine] You know, you're not so quiet yourself, missy!
Chandler: [to Janine] And I'm blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it! [in a bad Australian accent] "Oh, Chandler, I just lost myself in the movement!"

Monica: [Trying to seduce Chandler] I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out.

Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... [reads from the screen] "gay as the day is long"?

Monica: Aren't you dressed yet ?
Chandler: Am I naked again ?

Monica: But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true.

Monica: Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex until the wedding.
Ross: A no-sex pact, huh? I seem to have one of those going with every woman in America.

Monica: Chandler, I'm unemployed and in dire need of a project. You wanna work out? I can remake you.
Chandler: Oh, you know, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying-around time.

Monica: Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.
Chandler: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? [Monica looks at him strangely] I heard it!

Monica: DAMN ALL THE JELLYFISH!

Monica: Danny, you know Rachel? She's nice. She's not bad to look at, right?
Rachel: Thanks, Mon.
Danny: Well, of course.
Monica: Do you want to go out on a date with her?
Rachel: Monica!
Danny: Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
Monica: Friday's perfect. She can't wait.
Danny: [to Monica] On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly?

Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
David: Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion.
Monica: [To Chandler] See?
Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind".

Monica: Did you at least get the pies?
Phoebe: Pies!?! We thought you said prize!
[Hands Monica Emma's trophy]
Monica: Grand Supreme Little Darling?
Rachel: Con-grat-u-la-tions!!!

Monica: Do you realize that we're getting married in just four weeks? Four weeks, baby, FOUR WEEKS!
Chandler: Do you realize that you get louder every week?