Ducky: A toast! Close friends and dear family all. A bountiful thanks and good things for Fall!
Abby: And to all a good night! [pause] Wrong holiday.

Ducky: She also put some of Mother's silver in the dishwasher.
Gibbs: Really? [sarcastically]

Fornell: [he and Gibbs walk into Director Vance's office without knocking and turn on the tv] You have a surveillance camera in the conference room now. Hope you don't have on in the elevator.
Vance: [is crouching behind desk going through files] We don't, not yet at least, Agent Fornell. [sits up] How can I help you?
Gibbs: To borrow your tv.
Vance: And my copy of Emily Post. Door was closed.
Gibbs: I thought you were in MTAC.
Vance: Well, we all make mistakes. That's why God invented knocking. McGee's int he conference room interviewing Susan Grady.
Fornell: You sure you don't have a camera in the elevator?
Vance: When I do, you'll be the first to know, Agent Fornell.

Fornell: Thanks for doing it my way.
Gibbs: Yeah, don't mention it.
Fornell: I was being facetious.
Gibbs: Yeah, me too.

Gibbs: [hands Ziva a letter indicating that she is now an NCIS agent] Get to work, probie.

Gibbs: Abby --
Abby: No time for smalltalk, Gibbs, there's way too much to tell.
Gibbs: I only said 'Abby', Abby.
Abby: Well, now you've said it thrice.

Gibbs: Ain't that a riddle? No way out. Guy trapped in a room, no doors, no windows."
Paloma Reynosa: How did he get there?
Gibbs: Walls were built around him. But there's nothing there except a mirror and a table. How does he get out?
Jason Paul Dean: Look in the mirror, see what you saw. take the saw, cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole. Climb out the hole. Most retarded riddle I ever heard.

Gibbs: Get Ziva and DiNozzo out of bed.
McGee: What?!
Gibbs: Wake 'em up.
McGee: Oh. Oh, right. Get them out of bed because it's the middle of the night and they're asleep.
Gibbs: [looks at McGee like he's gone mad] Yes.
McGee: Individual beds. Get them out of individual beds. I was confused. I thought we were talking --
Gibbs: Need some sleep yourself, do you, McGee?

Gibbs: I wanted to see how Jensen lived.
Tony: It says a lot about a man. Take your house for instance: clean, no nonsense, stoic.
Gibbs: Stoic? My house is stoic?
Tony: Understated, then?
Gibbs: I planted some roses last weekend. Red ones. Are red roses stoic?
Tony: Well, they're prickly and thorny.

Gibbs: It's good work. Get the address to Tony and Ziva.
[hands Abby a tiny Caf-Pow]
Gibbs: Nice job.
Abby: What the bio-hazardous material is this?
Gibbs: It's all they had.
Abby: A mini Pow?
[Gibbs nods]
Abby: Uggh, this is another bad omen. Gibbs, this does not bode well for my future.
Gibbs: Abby, I wouldn't worry about it.
Abby: Why's that?
Gibbs: Because, I've got your back. Always have, Abs. [kisses her on the cheek] Always will.

Gibbs: Let her go.
Gregg Norvell: [sees Gibbs, Ziva and Tony with their pistols pointed at him] Back off! I'll kill her!
Gibbs: Angela, look at me.
Norvell: Move back! Now!
Gibbs: Ziva?
Ziva: Got it.
Norvell: She'll miss.
Gibbs: What's the probability of that?
Angela Kelp: Based on the temperature and humidity, no wind, half moon, good light, 97.6%.
Gibbs: Last chance, Norvell.
Norvell: Move or I'll do it.
Gibbs: [to Ziva] Take it. (She does - and gets the head shot she was aiming for)

Gibbs: McGee, you're with me.
McGee: Where we going?
Gibbs: To go look for the bomb.
Tony: Don't make me say it, McGee.
McGee: We'll be careful, Tony.

Gibbs: Ooh. It smells like a French whorehouse in here.
Palmer: [referring to his new cologne] That's me.
Gibbs: What are you trying to do, Palmer? Raise the dead?

Gibbs: What've you got?
Abby: A better question is what have you not got Abbs, and the better answer would be a Caf-Pow! I'm trying to make my own here, but I'm missing like 400 ingredients.
Gibbs: Are you all right?
Abby: No, I'm not okay! I'm not going to be okay until the power comes back on and I can run diagnostics on one of my babies. These aren't like light bulbs, Gibbs. You can't turn them on and off, and they're complex pieces of machinery that requires precise shutdown sequences. I don't understand! I mean, why does autopsy get backup power and I don't? I mean, MTAC, I get that, but what does Ducky have that I don't have?
Gibbs: Corpses.
Abby: I'll get some corpses!

Gibbs: You okay?
Tony: Not really. I broke rule number ten. Again. Never get personally involved in a case.
Gibbs: Yeah. That's the rule I've always had the most trouble with.