Tony: It's like I said, it's always the maid.
Ziva: No. You have said it is always the janitor, or the butler, or anyone assigned to work in Abby's lab, but you have never once said maid.
Tony: Anyone ever tell you that your memory can be a real buzz kill?
[...]
Tony: Who do you think she's working for? Chinese? Russians?
Ziva: Cubans. After all, she is Cuban.
Tony: That's way too obvious. Haven't I taught you anything?

Tony: Long distance can be hard. Telefriend from Tel Aviv?
Ziva: You're jealous.
Tony: I'm not jealous.
Ziva: Yes, you are.
Tony: No, I'm not. I'm not arguing, boss.
McGee: Argue!
Tony: Am not!

Tony: Melinda. [looks into his little black book, then prevents Ziva from taking it]
Ziva: How many Melinda's do you have in that thing?
Tony: It could be the girl I talk to at the gym.
Ziva: You don't go to the gym.
Tony: Well maybe it was the girl I talked to at the dog park.
McGee: You don't have a dog.
Tony: Oh, it could have been that girl I met at the concession stand while my date was in the bathroom.
Ziva: You need a secretary.
McGee: Or a therapist.
Gibbs: Or both.

Tony: Popeye Carmano? NCIS. Are we all listening to the same song? Let me guess. Ricky Martin fans, Livin' La Vida Loca.
Carmano: You gotta leave, man.
Tony: But we just got here!
Carmano: Yeah, but it's a very dangerous neighborhood.
Tony: That's why I brought her.
Carmano: La bonita es un Federale.
Rico: Federales es un buena.
Tony: La bonita will kick your ass.

Vance: How many times did I tell DiNozzo to leave his smart ass attitude back in DC!
Gibbs: You shoulda checked his bags.
Vance: I thought you said your boy was up to this.
Gibbs: You're the one who threw him to the wolves, Leon. Let him find his own way.
Vance: You call this a fight, he better start showing me something.
Gibbs: Take him off the team, he already has.
(Cut back to Eli and Tony)

Vance: Whaddaya say David? Wanna go a few rounds?
Ziva: I think that would violate my primary assignment.
Vance: Only if you manage to lay a glove on me.
Issac: Excuse me, darling, but this gym ain't co-ed.
Ziva: Another time.
Vance: Just say when.

Ziva: [hiding with Tony in a closet] Stop breathing! [Tony stops breathing as guard walks past]

Ziva: Goodnight.
Tony: Night. [watches Ziva leave]
Gibbs: Rule number eleven, DiNozzo.
Tony: I would never date a co-worker, boss. Trust me. I mean, why would you even -- [Gibbs smiles slightly] -- that's twelve. Eleven: when the job is done, walk away.
[...]
Gibbs: So, what's on your mind?
Tony: Rivkin's been in town.
Gibbs: I know.
Tony: With Ziva?
Gibbs: The guy doesn't listen.
Tony: Does that bother you on a professional level or a personal one?
Gibbs: I'll tell you what. I'm having a little trouble untangling the two.
Tony: So you are bothered.
Gibbs: Oh yeah.

Ziva: He did not get out this way.
Foster-Yates: Unless could cross a lawn without bending a blade of grass.
Ziva: Not impossible with the proper training.
Tony: She can also do that trick where you put your ear to a rail and you can hear a train coming.
Foster-Yates: You get the same training?
Tony: Me? No. But I can eat a bucket of chicken in one sitting, and I have x-ray vision.

Ziva: Her name is Hannah, and she's asked me out to lunch, twice.
Tony: You? [blinks and considers]
Ziva: Did your rocketship just take a nosedive?
Tony: No. It just landed on a different planet.

Ziva: I do not understand. If you want someone dead, you knock on their door. They answer, you shoot them. Easy.
[Gibbs smiles]
McGee: [shocked] For some.

Ziva: I'm intrigued by how intrigued you are by this, Tony.
Tony: And I am curious that you are curious that I am intrigued.

Ziva: Looks like we found the murder weapon. Toy guitar?
McGee: That is not a toy guitar. That is a guitar controller. Used to play Lords of Rock, video game. That particular model is called an axe.
Ziva: So our killer is an axe murderer.

Ziva: McGee was specifically told to destroy those photos.
Tony: Guess he forgot.
Ziva: Then perhaps I should remind him.
Tony: Go easy on the lad, he's had a rough summer.
Ziva: Well, we all have.
Tony: I think it was especially difficult for McGeek. Doesn't handle change well, never has.
Ziva: He seems fine.
Tony: [scoffs] Please, cooped up in that techno-basement for four months? You know how much he loves pounding the pavement, working leads, interrogating.
Ziva: [laughs] McGee?
Tony: Yeah, not to mention Gibbs, Duckster, you and me, Abs... I mean, everyone knows how close those two are.
Ziva: McGee was in the sub-basement, Tony. They had lunch every week.
Tony: It's not the same. You get used to seeing someone every day, talking to them, relying on them, and suddenly they're not there...
Ziva: It's all part of the job.
Tony: Doesn't make it any easier... for McGee.

Ziva: Red apples. That's good Amanda.
Tony: Breakfast is served, my lady a chocolate chip cookie [Amanda saying Thank you] and some hot cocoa.
Ziva: Your aunt will be here soon to pick you up.
Amanda: Thank you for helping me with my drawing, Ziva.
Gibbs: You are one brave little girl Amanda.
Amanda: Where's Mi - Shi? [walking over to window] What happened to your hand?
Gibbs: [Gibbs hands Agent Lee's badge to Amanda] Mi-Shi would want you to have that.