NCIS quotes
1049 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5
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Ziva: So this is where you have been for the past few months
Tony: Yes, just like the squad room, only I am the squad and there is no room.
Tony: Yes, just like the squad room, only I am the squad and there is no room.
Ziva: There is no doubt in my mind you will get that confession, McGee.
McGee: [looks from her to Tony and smiles] Thank you, Ziva. [leaves]
Tony: He's toast, isn't he?
Ziva: Oh, yes. Burnt toast.
McGee: [looks from her to Tony and smiles] Thank you, Ziva. [leaves]
Tony: He's toast, isn't he?
Ziva: Oh, yes. Burnt toast.
Ziva: This reminds me of the forests I used to have fun in as a child.
Tony: I find that hard to believe.
Ziva: What, that Israel had forests?
Tony: No, that you had fun as a child.
Ziva: [laughs] Oh, sure. My father used to blindfold us, take us to the middle of the forest, and then we had to find our way out by ourselves.
Tony: I stand corrected.
Tony: I find that hard to believe.
Ziva: What, that Israel had forests?
Tony: No, that you had fun as a child.
Ziva: [laughs] Oh, sure. My father used to blindfold us, take us to the middle of the forest, and then we had to find our way out by ourselves.
Tony: I stand corrected.
Ziva: What is this place?
Soldier: It's classified.
Tony: Classified? What have you got in there? Aliens? Bigfoot? Ark of the Covenant? That only leaves one thing.
Ziva and McGee: [in unison] Unicorn!
Soldier: It's classified.
Tony: Classified? What have you got in there? Aliens? Bigfoot? Ark of the Covenant? That only leaves one thing.
Ziva and McGee: [in unison] Unicorn!
Ziva: You can't make an omelet without breaking some legs.
Tony: You're never making me breakfast!
Ziva: That is the truth!
Tony: It's supposed to be "eggs".
Ziva: Cook them yourself!
Tony: You're never making me breakfast!
Ziva: That is the truth!
Tony: It's supposed to be "eggs".
Ziva: Cook them yourself!
Ziva: You have to tell him the truth.
Tony: Maybe. Not until I'm absolutely sure lying won't work.
Tony: Maybe. Not until I'm absolutely sure lying won't work.
Ziva: You're counting your eggs before they're laid.
Tony: Operative word is 'laid'.
Tony: Operative word is 'laid'.
Ziva: [putting an ear wig on Lee] You've pled your case with everyone else, why not me?
Lee: I'm done trying to explain. No one understands.
Ziva: I do.
Lee: ...You would do what I did?
Ziva: [Reffering to her ear piece] That too tight?
Lee: It's fine. Thank you... I'm never going to see my daughter again, am I?
Ziva: Probabaly not.
Lee: I'm done trying to explain. No one understands.
Ziva: I do.
Lee: ...You would do what I did?
Ziva: [Reffering to her ear piece] That too tight?
Lee: It's fine. Thank you... I'm never going to see my daughter again, am I?
Ziva: Probabaly not.
Ziva: [on the phone outside the safehouse] Tony, we have been compromised.
Tony: What are you talking about, Ziva? Is this a drill??
Perry: Did she get my medicine?!
Ziva: I'm going around the back.
Tony: Come here. Let's go. What are you doing?! Let's go! [sees Ziva walk in the door] Should we go?
Ziva: We are more vulnerable in transit. Take cover.
Perry: What is she going to do?
Tony: You know, I don't really know. Bathroom, now.
Ziva: [calls Gibbs on speakerphone and places phone on the table, then draws two pistols]
Gibbs: Yeah? Gibbs.
Ziva: We have a situation at the safehouse.
Gibbs: Well, yeah, Ziva. What is it?
Ziva: Just a second. [both men break in a door each, only to be shot dead]
Gibbs: Ziva? Ziva! Ziva, talk to me!
Ziva: Under control. [hangs up]
Gibbs: [smiles and hangs up]
Tony: What are you talking about, Ziva? Is this a drill??
Perry: Did she get my medicine?!
Ziva: I'm going around the back.
Tony: Come here. Let's go. What are you doing?! Let's go! [sees Ziva walk in the door] Should we go?
Ziva: We are more vulnerable in transit. Take cover.
Perry: What is she going to do?
Tony: You know, I don't really know. Bathroom, now.
Ziva: [calls Gibbs on speakerphone and places phone on the table, then draws two pistols]
Gibbs: Yeah? Gibbs.
Ziva: We have a situation at the safehouse.
Gibbs: Well, yeah, Ziva. What is it?
Ziva: Just a second. [both men break in a door each, only to be shot dead]
Gibbs: Ziva? Ziva! Ziva, talk to me!
Ziva: Under control. [hangs up]
Gibbs: [smiles and hangs up]
Ziva: Beretta's, 9mm?
Staff Sgt. Medina: Feel free.
Ziva: Do you mind?
Medina: Not at all, ma'am. Do your best.
Tony: [sighs] Oh, God.
Medina: Stand by at station two for live fire.
Ziva: [fires once and clears the round] I prefer the Sig.
Medina: A lot of women have trouble with the Beretta. Think it has too much of a kick.
Ziva: Your sight is a few millimeters off.
Medina: Really?
Tony: [shows Medina the target with a bullet hole in the head] Really.
Staff Sgt. Medina: Feel free.
Ziva: Do you mind?
Medina: Not at all, ma'am. Do your best.
Tony: [sighs] Oh, God.
Medina: Stand by at station two for live fire.
Ziva: [fires once and clears the round] I prefer the Sig.
Medina: A lot of women have trouble with the Beretta. Think it has too much of a kick.
Ziva: Your sight is a few millimeters off.
Medina: Really?
Tony: [shows Medina the target with a bullet hole in the head] Really.
Ziva: Do you feel that?
McGee: [digging through trash] What? Week-old bananas?
Ziva: No. We are being watched.
McGee: How do you do that?
McGee: [digging through trash] What? Week-old bananas?
Ziva: No. We are being watched.
McGee: How do you do that?
Ziva: I checked Trimble's phone records, Gibbs. One person called him over 150 times last month. It was another prison guard by the name of Brenda Carter.
Tony: Five calls a day. I give her an eight on the DiNozzo psycho chick meter. Ten being Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. Look at those eyes; crazy eyes!
Tony: Five calls a day. I give her an eight on the DiNozzo psycho chick meter. Ten being Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction. Look at those eyes; crazy eyes!
Ziva: I remember my first fight. I was eight. Shemer Rubenstein.
Tony: Sounds like a real stud.
Ziva: One punch and it was over.
Tony: What did Shemer Rubenstein do to deserve the wrath of Ziva?
Ziva: He said he liked me.
Tony: Sounds like a real stud.
Ziva: One punch and it was over.
Tony: What did Shemer Rubenstein do to deserve the wrath of Ziva?
Ziva: He said he liked me.
Ziva: I'll call Tony.
McGee: I'll call Abby. [they both run]
Ziva & McGee: [via webcam] Gibbs has a father!
Tony & Abby: Tell me everything!
McGee: I'll call Abby. [they both run]
Ziva & McGee: [via webcam] Gibbs has a father!
Tony & Abby: Tell me everything!
Ziva: Sit down
Carmano: I ain't sittin' down.
Ziva: Sientate! Or do you want la bonita to sit your ass down?
Carmano: I ain't sittin' down.
Ziva: Sientate! Or do you want la bonita to sit your ass down?