NCIS quotes
1049 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Tony: So tell us Jane Bond, how do we track you down?
Ziva: You don't, by now I've changed my apperance, replaced my identity with back-up documents, and relocated.
Tony: Promise? (Ziva smirks at him) Okay, so that about wraps it. Who's up for lunch? (Gibbs stands up) Boss, you might want to think about this 'cause I-I'll pay... (Gibbs headslaps him and Tony grimaces)
Gibbs: No one is eating until we find Yoon Dawson!
Ziva: You don't, by now I've changed my apperance, replaced my identity with back-up documents, and relocated.
Tony: Promise? (Ziva smirks at him) Okay, so that about wraps it. Who's up for lunch? (Gibbs stands up) Boss, you might want to think about this 'cause I-I'll pay... (Gibbs headslaps him and Tony grimaces)
Gibbs: No one is eating until we find Yoon Dawson!
Tony: We can't find him. But we're not going to give up until we do!
McGee: Or die trying!
Tony: [with a horrified look at McGee] Or die trying?! You had to put that in his head?
McGee: Or die trying!
Tony: [with a horrified look at McGee] Or die trying?! You had to put that in his head?
Ziva: [referring to a model] You really find her attractive?
Tony: Yeah?
Ziva: Well, I want to shoot her!
Tony: Yeah?
Ziva: Well, I want to shoot her!
Ziva: [slams Petri against the wall] We have a warrant now.
Petri: For what? I didn't do anything wrong.
Ziva: No? I can think of at least two things. Framing an NCIS agent for murder, and really, really, really pissing him off. [nods toward Gibbs]
Petri: For what? I didn't do anything wrong.
Ziva: No? I can think of at least two things. Framing an NCIS agent for murder, and really, really, really pissing him off. [nods toward Gibbs]
Ziva: Do you mind if I grab a bat nap?
Female Park Ranger: No, just, um, hang from the rafters.
Female Park Ranger: No, just, um, hang from the rafters.
Ziva: Ducky, drip it!
Ducky: Do you mean: Drop it or Zip it?
Ziva: Ah, American idioms drive me up the hall.
Ducky: Well, actually... never mind.
Ducky: Do you mean: Drop it or Zip it?
Ziva: Ah, American idioms drive me up the hall.
Ducky: Well, actually... never mind.
Ziva: Frank Connell is a deacon at his church, never had a moving violation, let alone a parking ticket, and he calls his mother every Sunday. The man is spic and spam.
Tony: The saying is "spic and span." Spam is lunch meat.
Ziva: Oh. What exactly is span then?
Tony: Span is, uh... I'll get back to you on that.
Tony: The saying is "spic and span." Spam is lunch meat.
Ziva: Oh. What exactly is span then?
Tony: Span is, uh... I'll get back to you on that.
Ziva: Halligan's on the goat. Oh, no! Not goat. Sheep?
McGee: Lam?
Ziva: That's it.
Tony: He's on the lam. There's no �B�� in that, by the way.
Ziva: Thank you.
McGee: Lam?
Ziva: That's it.
Tony: He's on the lam. There's no �B�� in that, by the way.
Ziva: Thank you.
Ziva: He'll only talk if I can...
Tony: No torture.
Ziva: There's no other way.
Tony: Find one.
Ziva: Okay, but you're tying my feet.
Tony: Hands.
Ziva: Those, too.
Season 4
Tony: No torture.
Ziva: There's no other way.
Tony: Find one.
Ziva: Okay, but you're tying my feet.
Tony: Hands.
Ziva: Those, too.
Season 4
Ziva: I can't tell where we are going.
Tony: There are only three ways we are going to get there: Train --
Ziva: That's quaint. We could be like those homos in those old movies
Tony: Hobos! Not homos.
Tony: There are only three ways we are going to get there: Train --
Ziva: That's quaint. We could be like those homos in those old movies
Tony: Hobos! Not homos.
Ziva: I stand corrected. I guess he didn't know. [muttered] I feel like a donkey's butt.
McGee: A donkey's butt?
Tony: I think she means horse's ass.
Ziva: Yes, that too.
McGee: A donkey's butt?
Tony: I think she means horse's ass.
Ziva: Yes, that too.
Ziva: I'm confused.
McGee: So am I, and I saw the DVD twice.
Tony: The Sound of Music confuses you, Probie.
Ziva: I love that movie!
[She opens her mouth to sing, Tony claps a hand over her mouth.]
Tony: One note, and I will lock you in a room and make you listen to "It's A Small World" for twenty-four hours straight. Do we understand each other?
Ziva: [muffled] Mmm-hmm.
McGee: So am I, and I saw the DVD twice.
Tony: The Sound of Music confuses you, Probie.
Ziva: I love that movie!
[She opens her mouth to sing, Tony claps a hand over her mouth.]
Tony: One note, and I will lock you in a room and make you listen to "It's A Small World" for twenty-four hours straight. Do we understand each other?
Ziva: [muffled] Mmm-hmm.
Ziva: I've learned from Gibbs that in certain cases you can attract far more bees with honey��
Tony: Flies.
Ziva: What do flies have to do with honey?
Tony: Flies... don't like... vinegar.
Ziva: Vinegar?
Tony: It's complicated. Here he comes.
Tony: Flies.
Ziva: What do flies have to do with honey?
Tony: Flies... don't like... vinegar.
Ziva: Vinegar?
Tony: It's complicated. Here he comes.
Ziva: Just to be clear, are there any more of these rules I should be aware of?
Gibbs: About fifty of them.
Ziva: And I don't suppose they're written down anywhere that I could--
Gibbs: No.
Ziva: Then how am I supposed to--
Gibbs: My job is to teach them to you!
Gibbs: About fifty of them.
Ziva: And I don't suppose they're written down anywhere that I could--
Gibbs: No.
Ziva: Then how am I supposed to--
Gibbs: My job is to teach them to you!