Ziva: My contact went through, Gibbs. The client Sean Oliver was protecting was...
Gibbs: Sean Oliver.
Ziva: Tony and McGee are picking her up.
Gibbs: Not bad, Officer David.
Ziva: Well, I do what I can.
Gibbs: When you see the director, thank her for me.

Ziva: Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me...
McGee: Where are you going?
Ziva: I've been locked in a box with Tony all day. The ladies' room!

Ziva: She asked if you had the calzones for this, yes?
Tony: Cojones.
Ziva: Do you?

Ziva: The boy has remarkable memory. There's also someone here from Social Security to pick him up.
Gibbs: Services, Ziva. Social Security is for older people.
Ziva: Noted.

Ziva: They owed me a favor.
McGee: How many people owe you a favor?
Ziva: How many dates has Tony in a month?

Ziva: We've been barking up the wrong tree the entire investigation.
Tony: Bush.
Ziva: Sorry. Barking up the wrong... bush?
Tony: [grins] Tree.

Ziva: What are you doing?
Tony: I'm in the middle of a very serious negotiation.
Ziva: On McGee's computer?
Tony: I know where you're going with this, and the answer is yes.
Ziva: And what's the question?
Tony: Have I no shame?

Ziva: Where did all these people come from?
Tony: Didn't you see the signs? It's yard sale day.
Ziva: I see. And do Marines sell their yards often?
McGee: No. It's actually when people gather stuff they don't want anymore and sell them in their yards.
Ziva: Why would anybody want to buy somebody else's junk?
Tony: One man's junk is another man's treasure.
Ziva: In Israel we have a saying: "zevel, zeh zevel". [Tony and McGee look at Ziva, confused] "Crap is crap."

Ziva: Which proves what I've long suspected - despite the conservative image, Americans really love their porn.

Ziva: You know what that means?
Tony: The director's taking over the investigation.
Ziva: Probably, but I was thinking if Gibbs doesn't remember the last 15 years, he'll be a probie.
Tony: Gibbs would never let her take over.
Ziva: Not the old Gibbs... "Probie Gibbs"?? (Tony jumps up, running after Director Shepard)

Ziva: You might want to do something about your hair... it's sticking up like a porcuswine... no, thats not the word... a porcu... pig? (Tony gives her a funny look as McGee comes in) The little animal with the little spikies!?
McGee: Porcupine?
Ziva: 'Porcupine'! Thank you, Special Agent McGee.

Ziva: [To DiNozzo] I didn't know your nickname was honeybuns.
Gibbs: Only Naomi and I call him that!

Ziva: I'm driving you home. [jangles Tony's keys and smiles]
Tony: Probie. [looks hopefully to McGee]
McGee: Ah, Ziva, actually I should probably drive him home tonight.
Ziva: Why is that?
Abby: Maybe he wants to live.

(Abby is sitting in her lab looking at a picture Kate drew of her. Kate appears in gothic clothing)
Kate: You're a mess, girl. Red eyes, no makeup. If ever there was a time for black lipstick, it's now.
(Abby begins applying lipstick)
Kate: Remember when we first met? I couldn't believe you were a Forensic Scientist! I always thought goths had bats for pets, or vice-versa.
Abby: I really liked you, Kate. A lot.
Kate: Don't start that again. Wear your pigtails, I love you in pigtails!
(Abby pulls her hair back into pigtails)
Kate: That's better. You were persistent, Abs. First the black lipstick, then the black nail-polish. Next thing you know, I have a tat on my bum.
(Abby giggles)
Kate: Oh God... Ducky's gonna see it! I'm dead, and I'm embarrassed!
(Both laugh, Kate's voice fades away, Abby continues laughing.)

(Gibbs and Ducky are in autopsy talking about Ari)
Ducky: One has to wonder what made him such a sadist.
Gibbs: I don't give a damn! I just want to kill the bastard!