NCIS quotes
1049 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1
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Gibbs: Come on, DiNozzo. We've got problems - someone's trying to kill us again.
Tony:' [to a concerned Abby] I'm sure he didn't mean that.
[Later]
Tony: So someone really is trying to kill us?!
Tony:' [to a concerned Abby] I'm sure he didn't mean that.
[Later]
Tony: So someone really is trying to kill us?!
Gibbs: Make sure he didn't do any of that virus goat rope crap to my thing [gesturing to his computer after Fornell has been using it]
McGee: Goat rope?
Tony: Marine term, Probie.
Kate: It means half way between FUBAR and SNAFU.
McGee: Okay, uh, what's FUBAR?
Kate/Tony: You are!
McGee: Goat rope?
Tony: Marine term, Probie.
Kate: It means half way between FUBAR and SNAFU.
McGee: Okay, uh, what's FUBAR?
Kate/Tony: You are!
Gibbs: Never had allergies. Never had a cold.
Kate: Never had a cold?
Gibbs: Nope! Never had the flu either.
Kate: Why do I believe that?
Tony [sotto voice]: If you were a bug, would you attack Gibbs?
Kate: Never had a cold?
Gibbs: Nope! Never had the flu either.
Kate: Why do I believe that?
Tony [sotto voice]: If you were a bug, would you attack Gibbs?
Gibbs: Protection detail's over, Kate.
Tony: You did good.
Gibbs: For once DiNozzo's right
Kate: [stands up] Wow, I thought I'd die before I ever heard...
[Suddenly, a single gunshot bullet emerges from nowhere, slicing through the air before hitting Kate in the forehead and she falls to the ground, dead. Her blood sprays onto DiNozzo's face, and Gibbs then begins looking for the shooter)
Ari Haswari: [on distant rooftop, coldly, looking up from his sniper rifle] Sorry, Caitlin...
[Camera then shows Kate lying on the rooftop, dead, her eyes wide open and a small pool of blood building up behind her. DiNozzo then looks at her for a second before glancing at the warehouse opposite them. Gibbs follows DiNozzo's gaze]
Gibbs: Ari...
Tony: You did good.
Gibbs: For once DiNozzo's right
Kate: [stands up] Wow, I thought I'd die before I ever heard...
[Suddenly, a single gunshot bullet emerges from nowhere, slicing through the air before hitting Kate in the forehead and she falls to the ground, dead. Her blood sprays onto DiNozzo's face, and Gibbs then begins looking for the shooter)
Ari Haswari: [on distant rooftop, coldly, looking up from his sniper rifle] Sorry, Caitlin...
[Camera then shows Kate lying on the rooftop, dead, her eyes wide open and a small pool of blood building up behind her. DiNozzo then looks at her for a second before glancing at the warehouse opposite them. Gibbs follows DiNozzo's gaze]
Gibbs: Ari...
Gibbs: Put someone in a wedding dress
Kate: Tony would look cute.
Gibbs: No. He's off interviewing the victim's parents.
Kate: Well, McGee then.
Gibbs: No, he's with Tony.
Kate: Abby.
Gibbs: No, up to her tats in forensic tests.
Kate: Well, what about you? [Gibbs looks at her] You won't have to wear the dress.
Kate: Tony would look cute.
Gibbs: No. He's off interviewing the victim's parents.
Kate: Well, McGee then.
Gibbs: No, he's with Tony.
Kate: Abby.
Gibbs: No, up to her tats in forensic tests.
Kate: Well, what about you? [Gibbs looks at her] You won't have to wear the dress.
Gibbs: The SWAK doesn't mean our bitch can't be a bastard!
Abby: You're so right, Gibbs! I have this friend who is a transvestite and her lips could out-SWAK Angelina Jolie's. Remember McGee, you met her at my birthday party?
McGee: Oh, yeah. The low-cut red dress with the built-in plastic...
[Gibbs smacks McGee.]
Abby: I saw that!
Gibbs: Work, or you'll feel it!
Abby: Not while you're down there!
Gibbs: What?!
Abby: You're so right, Gibbs! I have this friend who is a transvestite and her lips could out-SWAK Angelina Jolie's. Remember McGee, you met her at my birthday party?
McGee: Oh, yeah. The low-cut red dress with the built-in plastic...
[Gibbs smacks McGee.]
Abby: I saw that!
Gibbs: Work, or you'll feel it!
Abby: Not while you're down there!
Gibbs: What?!
Gibbs: What did the urine tell you, Abby?
Abby: Oh all kinds of stuff, we had a really good talk.
Abby: Oh all kinds of stuff, we had a really good talk.
Gibbs: You find my hacker yet?
Tony: McGee's upstairs working on it.
Gibbs: I didn't ask McGee. I asked my Senior Field Agent. I want that damn hacker! [walks out the room]
Tony: Did you hear that, Palmer?
Palmer: He sounded pretty upset.
Tony: No. [smiles] He called me his Senior Field Agent. Finally.
Tony: McGee's upstairs working on it.
Gibbs: I didn't ask McGee. I asked my Senior Field Agent. I want that damn hacker! [walks out the room]
Tony: Did you hear that, Palmer?
Palmer: He sounded pretty upset.
Tony: No. [smiles] He called me his Senior Field Agent. Finally.
Gibbs: You get Fornell in here.
DiNozzo: What should I tell him?
Gibbs: Tell him he's about to make the second biggest mistake of his life!
[Later]
Fornell: My second biggest mistake, Jethro? That's very dramatic. What was the first?
Gibbs: When you married my second wife.
Fornell: You could have warned me!
Gibbs: I did!
DiNozzo: What should I tell him?
Gibbs: Tell him he's about to make the second biggest mistake of his life!
[Later]
Fornell: My second biggest mistake, Jethro? That's very dramatic. What was the first?
Gibbs: When you married my second wife.
Fornell: You could have warned me!
Gibbs: I did!
Gibbs: You tell Abby I want her.
Abby [entering the room from behind him] Oh Gibbs, I never knew!
Abby [entering the room from behind him] Oh Gibbs, I never knew!
Gibbs: You, blood spatters!
Abby: (hangs head and shuffles away) Yo ho heave ho...
Abby: (hangs head and shuffles away) Yo ho heave ho...
Gibbs: (to suspect) You went home with one woman and woke up with another.
Tony: I hate it when that happens...
Tony: I hate it when that happens...
Gibbs: [smashing cell phone on desk] God, I hate this thing! It's crap!
Kate: There's a secretary from the Pentagon downstairs and she claims her boss is being held hostage by his computer.
Gibbs: See? [holds up smashed phone] There's a reason I didn't trust these things. [tosses it to McGee] Here, reboot that or something. [to Kate] Send her up.
McGee: Reboot it?
Kate: Or you can do what we always do.
[Tony pulls a box out of a filing cabinet drawer filled with new, unopened phones and hands it to McGee]
Tony: It's his third one this month.
[Later on]
Abby: [as her computer fizzles and crashes] NO! NO, NO, NO,... My baby just french-fried!
McGee: System's over-heated.
Gibbs: So reboot it.
Abby: Believe it or not, Gibbs, not all computer problems can be solved by rebooting.
Gibbs: [brightly, holding up cell phone] Works for me.
Kate: There's a secretary from the Pentagon downstairs and she claims her boss is being held hostage by his computer.
Gibbs: See? [holds up smashed phone] There's a reason I didn't trust these things. [tosses it to McGee] Here, reboot that or something. [to Kate] Send her up.
McGee: Reboot it?
Kate: Or you can do what we always do.
[Tony pulls a box out of a filing cabinet drawer filled with new, unopened phones and hands it to McGee]
Tony: It's his third one this month.
[Later on]
Abby: [as her computer fizzles and crashes] NO! NO, NO, NO,... My baby just french-fried!
McGee: System's over-heated.
Gibbs: So reboot it.
Abby: Believe it or not, Gibbs, not all computer problems can be solved by rebooting.
Gibbs: [brightly, holding up cell phone] Works for me.
Gibbs: [to Tony and McGee] If you two don't start working, I will show you hazing, and the Marine Corps does not do wedgies or noogies or melvins.
Tony: Thank you, boss.
Tony: Thank you, boss.