NCIS quotes
1049 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1
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Abby: We'll figure it out together, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Oh please, call me Jimmy
Abby: I just did.
Jimmy: Oh please, call me Jimmy
Abby: I just did.
Bartender: Some man raped and murdered her!? [looks at Tony who has been hitting on her]
Tony: It wasn't me!
Tony: It wasn't me!
Ducky: Do you suspect foul play?
Gibbs: Well, you know me, Ducky. I suspect everything.
Ducky: Yes, that's an admirable trait for an investigator. And also, I suspect, the reason your three marriages ended in divorce.
Gibbs: Really? And all this time, I thought it was because I'm a bastard.
Gibbs: Well, you know me, Ducky. I suspect everything.
Ducky: Yes, that's an admirable trait for an investigator. And also, I suspect, the reason your three marriages ended in divorce.
Gibbs: Really? And all this time, I thought it was because I'm a bastard.
Ducky: (To Kate and Tony) We need to look a little deeper. There is clearly a latent sibling rivalry here, being expressed by your adolescent and sexually-charged bickering. It all stems from a desperate desire to please a father figure, and I think we all know who that is!
Kate: What has this got to do with my tuna fish sandwich?
Kate: What has this got to do with my tuna fish sandwich?
Ducky: I'm flattered that you would entrust your relationship to me. It will be rather like.... marriage counseling. (smiles, Tony and Kate give a look)
Tony: Oh, let's not use those words.
Tony: Oh, let's not use those words.
Ducky: Mother, this is Caitlin. [Ducky's mother spits at Kate] Mother, we talked about this. She is here to protect us!
Mrs. Mallard: Show me your knickers.
Kate: Ma'am?
Mrs. Mallard: Underwear, missy! I can always tell a woman's intentions by her panties.
Tony: It's always been my philosophy.
Mrs. Mallard: Show me your knickers.
Kate: Ma'am?
Mrs. Mallard: Underwear, missy! I can always tell a woman's intentions by her panties.
Tony: It's always been my philosophy.
Ducky: The knife missed her vital organs so the wound, in and of itself, was not fatal.
Gibbs: She didn't bleed to death.
Ducky: Exactly. Her body contained four liters of blood, so there was no exsanguination.
Gibbs: Ducky...
Ducky: I'm sorry, it's such a lovely word, exsanguination, I can't help saying it. (laughs nervously as Gibbs just looks at him.) Moving on...
Gibbs: She didn't bleed to death.
Ducky: Exactly. Her body contained four liters of blood, so there was no exsanguination.
Gibbs: Ducky...
Ducky: I'm sorry, it's such a lovely word, exsanguination, I can't help saying it. (laughs nervously as Gibbs just looks at him.) Moving on...
FBI Agent: Are you always a smart-ass?
Tony: Only to you boys from the Hoover building.
Tony: Only to you boys from the Hoover building.
Fornell: Anyone ever told you you're an insufferable bastard?
Gibbs: [pleased] Yeah.
Gibbs: [pleased] Yeah.
Fornell: Realising how sad this sounds, you're the closest thing I have to a friend, Gibbs.
Gibbs: [About Tony] You may not admire his methods, but you gotta love the results.
Gibbs: Abs, do you have him?
Abby: [smug] Are you seriously asking me that?
Gibbs: [deadpan] No, I called to flirt.
Abby: [smug] Are you seriously asking me that?
Gibbs: [deadpan] No, I called to flirt.
Gibbs: Come on, Corporal. Let a Gunny buy you dinner.
Ernie Yost: You... you were never an officer?
Gibbs: Ah, hell no!
Yost: I knew there was something I liked about you.
Ernie Yost: You... you were never an officer?
Gibbs: Ah, hell no!
Yost: I knew there was something I liked about you.