NCIS quotes
1049 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Kate: Speaking of way beyond hinky...
Tony: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
Kate: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
Tony: [deep breath] I can't take it.
Tony: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
Kate: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
Tony: [deep breath] I can't take it.
Kate: Still no head or left leg.
Abby: Did you check Hooterville?
Tony: Where's Hooterville?
Abby: You guys. Petticoat Junction, Green Acres. Hooterville.
Tony: I prefer TV shows from this century.
Abby: Did you check Hooterville?
Tony: Where's Hooterville?
Abby: You guys. Petticoat Junction, Green Acres. Hooterville.
Tony: I prefer TV shows from this century.
Kate: This...isn't the deck 5 berthing compartment, is it?
Sailor: (while standing at a urinal) No ma'am this is the men's head on deck 6.
Sailor: (while standing at a urinal) No ma'am this is the men's head on deck 6.
Kate: What does he want the LES for?
Tony: Kate, that's NCIS 101.
Kate: You have no idea.
Tony: Not a clue.
Tony: Kate, that's NCIS 101.
Kate: You have no idea.
Tony: Not a clue.
Kate: What's your clearance?
Tony: Confidential.
Kate: Confidential? What'd you do? Kill someone in high school?
Tony: Hah. Funny, Kate. They screwed up my paperwork with another agent.
Gibbs: Yeah, DiNozzo died in a car crash last month. Very tragic.
Tony: They yanked my clearance and now I have to take a physical to get it back.
Kate: Why is that?
Tony: To prove that I'm still alive.
Tony: Confidential.
Kate: Confidential? What'd you do? Kill someone in high school?
Tony: Hah. Funny, Kate. They screwed up my paperwork with another agent.
Gibbs: Yeah, DiNozzo died in a car crash last month. Very tragic.
Tony: They yanked my clearance and now I have to take a physical to get it back.
Kate: Why is that?
Tony: To prove that I'm still alive.
Kate: You were a boy scout?
Tony: Cub.
Kate: Ha. What'd they kick you out for?
Tony: Tryin' to score brownie points.
Tony: Cub.
Kate: Ha. What'd they kick you out for?
Tony: Tryin' to score brownie points.
Kate: [after an emergency blow to the surface aboard a submarine] Wow...
Gibbs: Yeah, that's what they all tell me.
Gibbs: Yeah, that's what they all tell me.
Kate: All I'm saying is that... things on the surface are not always the same as when you put them in context with the way they actually developed, you know, under the surface, kinda.
Tony: I have no idea what you said.
Kate: Neither do I. But the intent was sincere.
Tony: I have no idea what you said.
Kate: Neither do I. But the intent was sincere.
Marine: Why you jumping with us, Sir?
Tony: Always wanted to jump. Gibbs came along to laugh.
Tony: Always wanted to jump. Gibbs came along to laugh.
Receptionist: Can I help you?
Tony: [pouring on the charm] I'm sure you can. I'm Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS. You can call me Tony. We'd like to talk to Dr. Chalmers, uh, [leans in very close to read her name tag] Darlene.
Receptionist: [melting] Okay.
Kate: Why don't you just give her a breast exam?
Tony: In good time.
Tony: [pouring on the charm] I'm sure you can. I'm Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS. You can call me Tony. We'd like to talk to Dr. Chalmers, uh, [leans in very close to read her name tag] Darlene.
Receptionist: [melting] Okay.
Kate: Why don't you just give her a breast exam?
Tony: In good time.
Timothy McGee: I've heard stories about Special Agent Gibbs.
Tony: Only half of them are true...the trick is figuring out which half.
Tony: Only half of them are true...the trick is figuring out which half.
Tony: 40-mile zone ended 2 miles back, Boss. Limit's 65... I only mention it because you usually drive slightly faster than Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
Tony: [about to send drug kingpins to Gitmo as suspected terrorists] You do not have the right to remain silent. You do not have the right to an attorney. If you want an attorney, you won't get an appointment to see one. Do you understand these rights you don't have?
Tony: [As Tommy Lee Jones] Ladies and gentlemen. I want a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, doghouse and outhouse in the area. You got that? Good! Now turn off those cameras and get out of the way!
McGee: Accent's still not right.
Tony: Damn.
McGee: Accent's still not right.
Tony: Damn.