Mona: There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it. I feel like I'm holding down the fort all by myself.

Monica: [Arriving to the honeymoon hotel with Chandler and seeing that the honeymoon couple who got first class seats on the plane now get the honeymoon suite] No! No! No! You cannot do this to us again!
Man: Who are you?
Chandler: We're you 10 seconds later!
Monica: Everyone gives you special treatment because your on your honeymoon!The first class tickets, the honeymoon suite! No one cares that we're on our honeymoon!
Girl: Well take the suite if you want. [Hands them the keys] We don't need the stuff.
Man: We just wanna be together, were in love.
Chandler:Awwww... Well we need the stuff!

Monica: [Browsing through their CD's] Honey, the Miami Vice Soundtrack, really?
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store... in exchange for money.

Monica: Hey Joey, come taste this.
Joey: What is it?
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well... [Feeds him a spoonful of what she's cooking] I'm getting my revenge!
Joey: You cooked him?

Monica: Just so you know, I'm not gonna make a turkey this year.
Joey: What?
Monica: Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.
Joey: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals!
Joey: No, they're not! They're ugly and stupid and delicious! Besides, eating them is a tradition. It goes back to the very first Thanksgiving when the Indians sat down with the cowboys!
Rachel : Oh, right, that's when they had that big rodeo at Plymouth Rock!
Monica: It's not just Phoebe. Will's still on a diet, Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food and Rachel's having her aversion to poultry!
Joey: She is?
Rachel: Yeah! Don't you remember? I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Yeah, but I thought it was just because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table!
Monica: It just doesn't seem worth it to make an entire turkey for just three people, okay? It's a lot of work!
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving with no turkey is like 4th of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Monica: All right, fine, if it means that much to you! But there's gonna be a ton left over!
Joey: No, there won't! I promise, I will finish that turkey!
Monica: Okay, you're telling me that you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right! 'Cause I'm a Tribbiani, and this is what we do! We may be not great thinkers, or world leaders, we don't read a lot, or run very fast... but damn it, we can eat!

Parker: I'm a positive person!
Phoebe: No. I'm a positive person. You are like Santa Claus...on Prozac...in Disneyland...getting laid!

Parker: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: Wrong? Really, you know the word wrong? Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical and aglow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Parker: Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam!

Parker: My God, I don't want to forget this moment! It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all. Click!
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off.

Parker: To quote Ross, "I better be going!"
Phoebe: Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on the way out!

Phoebe: Ross, How did the conversation go ?
Ross: Great. I live on the street.
Phoebe: Where ?

Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit.

Phoebe: No, don't tear out your eye!!

Phoebe: OK, for a girl: Phoebe; and for a boy: Phoebo. [Phoebeau?]

Phoebe: Ross, why are you all hot and sweaty?
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler!
[Monica looks confused.]
Ross: Which isn't a sexual thing.

Phoebe: So, how was the honeymoon?
Monica: Oh, so much fun. But the best part is we met this incredible couple on the flight back.
Phoebe: That was the best part? [To Chandler] Good honeymooning, Tiger.