Monica: I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies. I don't care if the entire cast of Eight Is Enough comes out of there!

Monica: I'm sorry. Who should be along in a what now?

Monica: We decided to name the baby girl, Erica.
Erica: Hey, that's just like my name!
Monica: Son of a gun, it is.

Monica: What if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Chandler: What if it's not? What if it's a king?
Monica: [sarcastically] Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.

Monica: Did you at least get the pies?
Phoebe: Pies!?! We thought you said prize!
[Hands Monica Emma's trophy]
Monica: Grand Supreme Little Darling?
Rachel: Con-grat-u-la-tions!!!

Monica: So, what'd you think of the house?
Chandler: It's perfect! It's everything we've been looking for!
Monica: Isn't it? And what about the amazing wainscoting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?
Chandler: And the wigglewoms and the zipzorps?... What were the things you said?

Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Phoebe: You won awards?
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.

Phoebe: As of today, my name is Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
Mike: I thought you had to just make your name Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan!
Phoebe: I can change it to anything I want.
Mike: Well, if you can, I can. My name is Crap Bag.

Phoebe: Have you ever chased someone to the airport before?
Ross: Not since my cop show got canceled.

Phoebe: And... moment's over! [Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off] So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... [She's flipping cards, skipping half of them] Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I [Monica is miming CUT] Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... [Yells at Monica]MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS [she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands] OR THIS [She taps her watch] OR THIS [she mimes CUT] OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! [Pause] You know what? You're done.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! [Pause and she raises her glass] Cheers!

Phoebe: Will you please be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: How about 'Buffay-Hannigan'?
Mike: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah. Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock!
Mike: Do you know what a bananahammock is?
Phoebe: It's a funny word!
Mike: It's a speedo!
Phoebe: [pauses] Oh crap!

Rachel: [crying, barely understandable] I don't know what I'm going to do without you!
Monica: [crying, barely understandable] You're the greatest friend I ever had.
Rachel: [crying, barely understandable] I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday!
Monica: [crying] What?
Rachel: [crying, barely understandable] I...I...I... I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday!
Monica: [crying, barely understandable] That is so sweet! [they hug]

Rachel: But do you think that maybe, on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Joey: No, I don't have another level.

Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die--
Phoebe: --Dive. Yeah, they dove headfirst into fun on the farm.
[the doctor just revealed that the second baby is arriving]

Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it!
Ross: You're mad at me about last night? I was trying to do the right thing!
Rachel: Really? Well, if you had done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed. I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Ross: Well...
Rachel: Stop that!!
Ross: I can't believe this! I was being a good guy! I treated you with respect and understanding!
Rachel: [sarcastically] That's so hot!
Ross: I was looking out for you!
Rachel: I am a big girl! I don't need someone telling what's best for me!
Ross: I've got to say, I've not had sex a lot of times before; this is the worst ever!
Rachel: It wasn't very good for me, either!
Joey [Pheobe has walked out on trying to teach Joey French. When he comes in he says] Poooo