Chandler: It happened in London.
Joey: IN LONDON??!!!

Chandler: Look! Look what the-Look what the floating heads did!
Monica: I don't care.
Chandler: What's going on?
Monica: That was the adoption agency.
Chandler: And?
Monica: We're getting a baby!
Chandler: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! [They embrace]

Chandler: Look, I just think it's time for you to settle down, you know? Make a choice, pick a lane!
Joey: Who's Elaine?

Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a second? [approaches Monica] I really appreciate you getting me the costume!
Rachel: You did this to him?
Monica: I thought he'd love it! His favourite book was The Velveteen Rabbit.
Chandler: That rabbit was brown and white!
Monica: It was a pink bunny or no bunny at all.
Chandler: No bunny at all! ALWAYS NO BUNNY AT ALL!

Chandler: Next time you snore, I'm rolling you over!!
Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do...

Chandler: No, no we're not together. We're not a couple- we're definitely not a couple.
Saleswoman: Oh! Sorry.
Joey: Wow, you, uh, you seem pretty insulted by that. What, I'm not good enough for you?
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again.

Chandler: Now that I've untangled you, how about you do something for me?
Monica: What do you have in mind?
Chandler: I think you know.
Monica: I really don't feel like it!
Chandler: This is what I want to do.
Monica: All right! I just don't see why you like it so much!
Chandler: [holding up 'Miss Congeniality' tape] She's an FBI agent posing as a beauty contestant!

Chandler: Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
Rachel: No, forget it.
Chandler: Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there... Joey was there, too.
Joey: All right!
Ross: Was there... uh, huh, huh, huh... anybody, anybody else there?
Rachel: No.
Ross: You're sure? Nobody uh, handed out, uh, mints or anything?
Rachel: No, it was just the three of us.
Ross: Huh!
Joey: So, tell me. Was it, like, you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
Rachel [laughing]: You know what?
Joey [laughing]: What?
Rachel [laughing]: There were times when it wasn't even me.
[Chandler and Joey laugh until they look at each other]
Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. [hugs them]

Chandler: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. "Oh, no! Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"

Chandler: Oh, man. In my next life I'm coming back as a toilet brush!

Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father.
Ross: Uh-huh.
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Ross: Do you have a point?
Chandler: You know, you'd think I would.

Chandler: Phones: bringing you closer to people...who have phones.

Chandler: Rachel, did it bother you when Ross flirted with other women?
Rachel: No, it bothered me when he slept with other women.

Chandler: Richard's really nice and everything. Uh... It's just that we don't know him really well, you know, and plus, he's, you know... old--
[Monica glares at Chandler.]
Chandler: --er than some people. But, uh, younger... than some buildings!

Chandler: Ross, just for my own peace of mind -- you're not married to any more of us, are you?