Friends quotes
613 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
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Season 9
Season 10
[Phoebe is giving Joey guitar lessons.]
Phoebe: You're questioning my methods.
Joey: I'm not questioning it, Phoebe, I'm saying it's stupid.
Phoebe: You're questioning my methods.
Joey: I'm not questioning it, Phoebe, I'm saying it's stupid.
[Phoebe is reading a book on how to stop a baby from crying.]
Phoebe: We've tried feeding, drinking and diaper changing. Oh, here's something: "Go back in time and listen to Phoebe."
Phoebe: We've tried feeding, drinking and diaper changing. Oh, here's something: "Go back in time and listen to Phoebe."
[Phoebe is sitting upside down on a chair and playing her guitar.]
Phoebe: [singing] Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months, will you come greet us?... I will buy you some Adidas.
Phoebe: [singing] Are you in there, little fetus? In nine months, will you come greet us?... I will buy you some Adidas.
[Phoebe is talking about the literature class she's taking.]
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! You know, I just thought this time I'd go for something, you know, a little more intellectual... with a less painful final exam.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! You know, I just thought this time I'd go for something, you know, a little more intellectual... with a less painful final exam.
[Phoebe opens the door]
Phoebe: Oh, it's you.
Ross: With vegetarian corndogs! Come on, I just want to talk to you.
Phoebe: Oh, about what? How few ova I have left?
Phoebe: Oh, it's you.
Ross: With vegetarian corndogs! Come on, I just want to talk to you.
Phoebe: Oh, about what? How few ova I have left?
[Phoebe plays Ms. Pacman, her wedding gift to Monica and Chandler.]
Monica: Oh, my, Phoebe, you are on fire!
Phoebe: I know!
Chandler: One more score to go. You can do it! [touches Phoebe's shoulder]
Phoebe: Don't touch me.
Monica: [To Chandler] Don't touch her!
Chandler: All right. Go left, go left, go right, go right!
Phoebe: I can't, I can't [she loses] No! You son of a bi-!
[Ben comes in with Ross. Epic music swells, drowning out Phoebe's 90-second curse-rant]
Ross: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Ben. No, don't look at the machine!
Monica: Oh, my, Phoebe, you are on fire!
Phoebe: I know!
Chandler: One more score to go. You can do it! [touches Phoebe's shoulder]
Phoebe: Don't touch me.
Monica: [To Chandler] Don't touch her!
Chandler: All right. Go left, go left, go right, go right!
Phoebe: I can't, I can't [she loses] No! You son of a bi-!
[Ben comes in with Ross. Epic music swells, drowning out Phoebe's 90-second curse-rant]
Ross: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Ben. No, don't look at the machine!
[Phoebe plays with a toy dinosaur while making barking sounds.]
Ross: Uh, Phoebe, while we're on the subject, dinosaurs don't go "Ruff!"
Phoebe: The little ones do.
Ross: Uh, Phoebe, while we're on the subject, dinosaurs don't go "Ruff!"
Phoebe: The little ones do.
[Phoebe shows what her guy has for Rachel]:
Phoebe: And he has one of these. [Phoebe imitates a chin dimple]
Chandler: A face ass?
Phoebe: And he has one of these. [Phoebe imitates a chin dimple]
Chandler: A face ass?
[Phoebe takes off her coat while getting ready to get married]:
Chandler: Aren't you going to be cold?
Phoebe: No, I'll be my something blue.
Chandler: Aren't you going to be cold?
Phoebe: No, I'll be my something blue.
[Rachel and Monica see Jean-Claude Van Damme on the set and Monica is smitten.]
Rachel: So why don't you go talk to him?
Monica: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah!
Rachel: What? So you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?
Monica: He could hear me!
Rachel: So why don't you go talk to him?
Monica: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah!
Rachel: What? So you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?
Monica: He could hear me!
[Rachel and Phoebe are checking out of a hotel.]
Rachel: Listen -- y'know what, sir? For the last time, I don't care what the computer says. We did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Joey: [arriving] Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Joey, were you in our room last night?
Joey: No. [Phoebe gives the bill to Joey. Joey turns to the concierge.] I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Rachel: Listen -- y'know what, sir? For the last time, I don't care what the computer says. We did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Joey: [arriving] Hey!
Phoebe: Oh! Joey, were you in our room last night?
Joey: No. [Phoebe gives the bill to Joey. Joey turns to the concierge.] I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
[Rachel comes in with a cat.]
Rachel: check it out!
Ross: what... what is that?
Joey: what the hell is that?
Rachel: it's a cat
Joey: that is not at cat
Rachel: yes, it is
Ross: why is it inside out?
Rachel: check it out!
Ross: what... what is that?
Joey: what the hell is that?
Rachel: it's a cat
Joey: that is not at cat
Rachel: yes, it is
Ross: why is it inside out?
[Rachel enters in her maid-of-honor dress and huge pink hat.]
Chandler: I'm sorry -- we don't have your sheep.
Season 3
Chandler: I'm sorry -- we don't have your sheep.
Season 3
[Rachel gave Bill her phone number.]
Rachel: Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh, my, he's gone!
Phoebe: "Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh, my, he's gone." Dead on.
Rachel: Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh, my, he's gone!
Phoebe: "Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh, my, he's gone." Dead on.
[Rachel hands out copies of her steamy romance novel draft to the gang.]
Rachel: Oh, and -- and on page 2, he's not reaching for her heaving beasts.
Monica: What's a niffle?
Joey: You can usually find them on the heaving beasts.
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. So I'm not a great typist...
Ross: Wait! Did you get to the part about "his huge, throbbing pens"? I tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Phoebe: I just got to the part about "her public hair."
Rachel: Oh, and -- and on page 2, he's not reaching for her heaving beasts.
Monica: What's a niffle?
Joey: You can usually find them on the heaving beasts.
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. So I'm not a great typist...
Ross: Wait! Did you get to the part about "his huge, throbbing pens"? I tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Phoebe: I just got to the part about "her public hair."