[Ari is livid that Lloyd resigned and now works for Adam Davies at TMA]
Lloyd: I'm sorry you feel that way, Ari.
Ari Gold: [over the phone] You're sorry, Lloyd?!?! You have NO IDEA how sorry you're going to be. I am going to destroy you, I am going to ERRODE every fiber of your spirit. You no longer exist, you are dead to me, and the town will know that anyone meeting with you, speaking with you, or even NODDING to you on the street will be dead as well. So die, Lloyd. Die, die, DIE! And when you're gagging on Davies' balls, I want you to bite down so he can die too!

[Ari pays his respects to Alan Gray at his funeral]
Ari Gold: I hate myself for the fact that until today, I still don't like you...

[Ari saves Lloyd from a night out with potential client Jay Lester]
Jay Lester: You know the old saying, "Fuck Chinese and you're horny again half an hour later" - [Lloyd slaps him to the shock of a nearby crowd]
Lloyd: I'm an American of Chinese descent [pokes Jay] and you are what, Jay? Just another overweight hack TV writer! [leaves with Ari]
Ari: [on the way out] Remind me not to get on your bad side, Lloyd.
Lloyd: Ari Gold, you could never.

[Ari talks about the potential of a Benji script]
Ari: You bet your ass it will be a good script, and I'm gonna make sure they have Miss Alaska waiting in your trailer to blow you at all times.

[Ari tries one last gamble to retain Vince as his client after he discovers Vince looking at other agencies. It flops.]
Ari: Vince, what are you doing?
Vince: Ari, I didn't need the whole dog-and-pony show. I really thought you were different from everyone else.
Ari: Vince, I am.
Vince: Ari, you do things your own way and you don't give a shit what we think about it.
Ari: I do give a shit. You should have seen me today begging and pleading to get that movie back, but it's gone. The past is the past, let's look to the future.
Vince: You're unreal. I mean, even after you fuck up like this, you can't even muster the strength to just, as my friend, look me in the face and say "I'm sorry."
Ari: That's all you wanted?
Vince: That's all I wanted.
Ari: Then I'm sorry, Vin.
Vince: It's too late.
Ari: Vince...
E: Ari, you're fired.
Vince: [to Turtle and Drama] Let's roll.

[Ari tries to convince studio head Richard Wimmer about the potential of Billy Walsh's Silo script, but Dana Gordon is determined to see Walsh and Vince fired from the project because it is not the script Walsh was paid to write.]
Richard Wimmer: I'm gonna tear your head off, Ari.
Ari Gold: Please don't, because I have [shows script] your summer movie. [begins to explain script] From the director of Medellin and Queens Boulevard comes Silo. It is the story of a group of non-unionized farm hands who band together to survive a nuclear attack after discovering an underground society. It is ready to shoot, Billy Walsh is on board, Vinnie Chase is on board, and if you're not, Fox, Universal, and Sony are.
Dana Gordon: He's bluffing.
Wimmer: What's it matter? There's a summer movie in there, we pack up our shit and go home.

[Ari tries to sell Andrew Klein about the potential of Mrs Ari hanging out with Marlo Klein]
Ari: My wife will love her, trust me. And when we're together after this, we don't have to speak to them and we get to keep all our money.

[Ari tries to talk to Mrs Ari about her plans to get a share of TMA as part of a divorce settlement, but he discovers Bobby Flay is in the house ... and he is pissed]
Ari: Yo, GRILL-MASTER! [marches inside house with Mrs Ari trying to stop him] Are you in my fucking house? I got a new show for you, it's called Boy Meets Husband Who Kills Him!
Bobby Flay: [appears from kitchen] I'm not hiding, Ari.
Ari: Well, you should!
Mrs Ari: [holds him back] Please, Bobby!
Bobby: Melissa, it's okay.
Ari: [distraught about what he just saw] I don't fucking believe it.
Mrs Ari: What, what don't you believe? What, more lies about how all you care about is how happy I am? You're so full of shit.
Ari: I have never hidden who I am, obviously you have. I have no idea who you are. From hereon out, we're gonna let the lawyers handle everything. [steps back] Look honey, I've changed. I'm leaving my house, with you and your barbecueing boytoy in it. No fight, no cops called, no tears, no beating his fucking face in. [leaves]

[Ari vents his frustrations at Lloyd seeing the gang watching a Lakers game on courtside seats...with Vince's new agent, Amanda]
Ari: The Lakers game, the FUCKING Lakers game?!? Oh Jesus-the house that I built!
Lloyd: Maybe it was his birthday present.
Ari: You think? I put him on the court on Arbor Day and that's his present? Gosh, she's so fucking wrong for him?

[Ari's daughter Sarah just ignored him while crying all the way to the house]
Ari: Still mad at me?
Mrs Ari: No, he's mad at Max now.
Ari: What'd he do?
Mrs Ari: He took a movie in Kazakhstan. [Ari gleefully makes victory gestures, but Mrs Ari sees him] I'm so glad our daughter's tears make you happy.
Ari: Baby, those tears mean our little girl is gonna stay our little girl for at least another day.
Mrs Ari: Awww, Ari.
Ari: Now, how about a quick blowjob before my Vince dinner? [A disgusted Mrs Ari walks inside]

[Ari's fuming over Richard Roeper's review of Medellin and lets out steam on the staff]
Ari: Attention everyone please! Listen up! No one mentions Richard Roeper again. Not today, not ever. By doing so, you are simply announcing that on Sunday night instead of doing your job, reading scripts, you're watching TV. The NEXT PERSON to mention Richard Roeper will be fired [annoyed with phone at Lloyd's desk] and Lloyd, you will also be fired if you don't answer THE FUCKING PHONE!!!
Lloyd: [answers phone] Ari Gold's office?
Employee: [talks to Ari on the way back to his office] I liked Medellin, Ari-
Ari: Then you're a fucking idiot.

[At a break in the Five Towns shoot, E reveals to the gang something about him and Ashley]
Drama: You called Ashley "Sloan" and you weren't mid-fuck??
Turtle: It's the worst. That's why I always stick with "Yeah, baby!"
Drama: I was thinking you would accidentally call out Vince's. [Turtle flips him off]
Vince: So how did you cover?
E: I told her she was hearing things.
Vince: Jesus.
Drama: I bet you she took that well.
E: Yeah, she left.
Turtle: Who wouldn't?
Vince: Why didn't you chase after?
Turtle: Because he loves Sloan!

[At a restaurant, E has told Ashley that he's breaking up with her. A phone call to him is driving her nuts]
Ashley: [to E, who's preparing to leave] You know you are really a piece-of-shit liar. You love fucking with me, don't you? You just said this morning that you want to be exclusive so you could use me and pull this shit now. I can't believe I fell for your nice guy act. You are real sick.
E: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.
Ashley: And I'm sorry you're a douchebag!
E: Look, I didn't lie to you about anything. I actually liked you, but you show up at the premiere uninvited, you check my phone, you listen to my messages, you want my emails? [Ashley squirms in seat] You say you are not crazy, but all signs point to the contrary. I'm sorry. [Leaves restaurant]

[At an X-Box Fight Night tournament, Turtle submits his fake urine sample for drug testing.]
Turtle: Where do I take the test?
Attendant: The what?
Turtle: The drug test. I jacked two bottles of water in the car for this, so can we just get over with this please?
Attendant: This is X-Box, loser, not the Olympics. We don't get drug tests. If we do, we'd be out of business, idiot. [gang heckles Turtle]
Drama: Sucker!
E: Nice, Turtle.
Turtle: [laughs and holds sample] What the fuck do I do with this now!!?
Vince: Drink it.

[At dinner, Ari gets rowdy over how hot Scott Siegal's fiancee is]
Ari: Just as I'm sure wherever you got with this little hottie will be more than amazing. [slightly touches her] Fuck it will be orgasmic. I mean, I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude, but ever since you got here, I have not been able to take my eyes off your ass! I mean, it's the perfect shape! It's like God came down, hand-crafted it, put it on a little silver tray, and hand-delivered it to my man, Scotty! Bravo, Scotty boy! [slams fist on table; Scott's fiancee is rankled] Bravo! I'm gonna get some Scotch!