Drama: Just us men and our souls. And a bag of 'shrooms.

Drama: [after closing the door on the trailer where an extra stands waiting in bikini] Who's that?
Turtle: It's an extra. You're her favorite character.
Drama: What am I supposed to do with her?
Turtle: Fuck her! What do you think?
Drama: You think I need you to pick up extras for me to bang?
Turtle: Well, I did have to charm about 20 of them before I found one that would say yes.
Drama: Do you know how stupid this is?
Turtle: I thought it'd make you happy?
Drama: No, it doesn't make me happy. I can't have an extra in my trailer. I got sexual harassment lawsuits coming out my ass as it is.
Turtle: I never heard about those.
Drama: I don't tell you everything.

Eric: Wow, golf on a Wednesday, huh, Ari? In the next life I wanna come back as you.
Ari: I wish I could return the compliment, E. But I'd rather come back as one of Michael Vick's dogs.

Turtle: So, with all that dancing, can you do any crazy shit? You know, like put your legs behind your head.
Dancer: I told you, I have a boyfriend.
Turtle: You did. But you also said you lie to him. So, maybe you can tell him that we didn't fuck today.

Turtle: Where's Arnold?
Drama: He's right there. I've been watching him.
Turtle: That's a rock! Are you kidding me?

[Ari and Dana Gordon confront Verner Vollstedt over his problems in shooting Smoke Jumpers with Vince, who's present along with E]
Verner Vollstedt: I'm not gonna take anymore of this shit.
Dana Gordon: Oh yes, you fucking are. Get your ass back here! [Verner walks back to her; Dana keeps pointing a finger at him] I hired you and you have a movie to finish that you are getting paid a lot of money to do and [raises voice] that's exactly what is going to fucking happen! Do you understand me!?
Ari Gold: I do. Anyone else turned on right now?

[Ari chances upon Vince and the gang going on a private jet while he flies to Geneva with John Ellis]
Ari Gold: I can see that you're saving money by flying private again.
Vincent Chase: Not our dime. It's theirs. [gestures to Dolce and Gabbana models]
Ari: Nice dime.
Vince: Where you headed?
Ari: We're going to Geneva. That's Alan's boss right there. [points to John Ellis boarding the plane]
Vince: Yeah?
Ari: Yeah!
Vince: Ah, you're going to Geneva for me? [Notices Ari speechless] Something wrong?
Ari: Yeah. Listen, Vinnie, um, you're the only one in this town that I'm telling this to - I'm in a position where I can get you any job that we want for the rest of your career.
Vince: How so?
Ari: They're offering me Alan's position. They want me to run the studio.
Vince: Wow.
Ari: It just came out of the blue. What do you think?
Vince: Ah I, I think I'd like us to finish what we started together, but...I think you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

[Ari confronts Amanda Daniels as John Ellis also offered her the studio presidency]
Ari Gold: Not bitter huh?
Amanda Daniels: Fuck you, Ari. You can kiss your relationship with that studio goodbye.
Ari: No, [points to Amanda] you can kiss your motherfucking dream job goodbye, 'cause you're right. I didn't want this job, but now I'm gonna take it just to spite you! [goes out of room and calls Lloyd] Lloyd. Yeah, call John Ellis. Tell him I'm gonna close this motherfucking deal.

[Ari pays his respects to Alan Gray at his funeral]
Ari Gold: I hate myself for the fact that until today, I still don't like you...

[Ari talks about the potential of a Benji script]
Ari: You bet your ass it will be a good script, and I'm gonna make sure they have Miss Alaska waiting in your trailer to blow you at all times.

[Ari's fuming over Richard Roeper's review of Medellin and lets out steam on the staff]
Ari: Attention everyone please! Listen up! No one mentions Richard Roeper again. Not today, not ever. By doing so, you are simply announcing that on Sunday night instead of doing your job, reading scripts, you're watching TV. The NEXT PERSON to mention Richard Roeper will be fired [annoyed with phone at Lloyd's desk] and Lloyd, you will also be fired if you don't answer THE FUCKING PHONE!!!
Lloyd: [answers phone] Ari Gold's office?
Employee: [talks to Ari on the way back to his office] I liked Medellin, Ari-
Ari: Then you're a fucking idiot.

[At the MGA conference room, two police officers just tied down Ari to his seat.]
Officer Nickerson: Mr Gold, if you cooperate, we'll make this as pleasant an experience as we can for you.
[His partner, Officer Morgan suddenly plays music from his evidence kit]
Ari Gold: Wait a minute. What is this, who are you guys?
Officer Morgan: BHPD, Boner Patrol. [The officers take off their clothes and start dancing around Ari]
Ari: Oh come on.
Nickerson: You're about to get your stiff inspected.
Assistant: Oh my God.
Ari: Lloyd, LLOOOOYD!!! [colleagues in and out of the conference room start laughing]
TI: [stands up and leaves] I'm out of here, Ari.
Ari: Hold on, TI!
TI: Call me when you're done with your entertainment.
Ari: Lloyd, you speak their language, MAKE IT STOP!
Lloyd: It'll be over soon Ari, just close your eyes, and think of pussy!

[Babs is irritated at Ari crashing "The Most Powerful Women in Hollywood" testimonial party]
Babs: I want an apology. Now.
Ari: Ladies, I'm sorry I'd like to congratulate each and every one of you, but unfortunately, Barbara's cock [women gasp in shock] is all I can handle right now! Congrats again...[leaves]

[Drama's cousin Ronnie has offered him a chance to invest in a bar and a call from Jamie-Lynn Sigler for Turtle has just changed his outlook]
Drama: Hey Ronnie, you tell Phil that if this place is henceforth known as Johnny Drama's, I'm in.
Ronnie: Yeah?
Drama: Yeah. [stands and addresses crowd] Hey everyone, I got an announcement to make. The drinks are on me...[crowd cheers] or should I say, the drinks are on...the house! [crowd cheers louder and Drama high-fives Ronnie]

[E's insistence about Nine Brave Souls being the film for Vince ticks off Ari]
Ari: [tears off scriptwriters' letter] No indies, E! Think of it like the Holocaust - Never Again!