Ari: How is the most fuckable president of production in town?
Dana: Ari, get the fuck out.
Ari: Brought Cristal and Sprinkles cupcakes.. Your favorite. Or is it mine? What's the difference, we used to eat everything off each other anyway.

Billy Walsh: [to narrator] 'Movie'? I hate the word movie. I don't make movies, I make films!

Lloyd: You said that if you're wife didn't go to Cannes, that I could.
Ari: When did I say that?
Lloyd: When you said it wasn't time for me to get promoted yet.
Ari: You know what, Lloyd? I'm in the middle of a code red alert. I got military police everywhere, German shepherds ready to attack at a moment's notice, I'm facing three-hour delays and an uncertain, unsafe future. So get off my ass and go get my wife some favorite flowers!

[A proposal meeting for Mary J. Blige as a client with MGA has been disrupted by a fight between Jensen twins Jim and Jeff. Ari summons the two to his office and demands the truth]
Jim Jensen: He fucked my wife, Ari.
Ari Gold: No, he did not. [stammers, to Jeff] You did? You fucked his wife? [Jeff nods] As you?
Jeff Jensen: What?
Ari: Did you pretend to be him [gestures to Jim] or did she actually fuck you thinking you were you?
Jim: [To Ari] You think this is funny?
Ari: No, I think this is disgusting!

[Ari and Mrs Ari argue over her guest spot in The Young and the Restless]
Ari: I'm sorry okay, I get jealous.
Mrs Ari: You're possessive. I don't want an apology for that!
Ari: What...for what, then?
Mrs Ari: For... for telling me that I'm old and that I wouldn't photograph in Hi-Def.
Ari: It's a legitimate concern. Look, I just didn't want you doing it alright, I like the way things are. I don't want you on television - I don't want some 19-year-old kissing the lips I'm supposed to be kissing, alright? Listen, if you want to go and be a soap whore everyday, just do it knowing that you make your husband miserable.
Mrs Ari: [sits near him] You think I want to do it, Ari? I gave up acting to have a family and I have never ever regretted it. I like the way things are. Just wanted [hits Ari] one day of stupid fun..
Ari: With Julio down at the schoolyard.
Mrs Ari: Well, if I'm so old and ugly, why do you even care?
Ari: Well some guys are into that -
Mrs Ari: [stands up and towers over him] Tell me that I'm sexy Ari.
Ari: You are the beautiful mother of my children [kisses Mrs Ari] and I respect you. [continues kissing]
Mrs Ari: Oh Julio...JULIO!!
Ari: You little fucking slut!! [beds Mrs Ari]

[Ari has had enough of Glenn Holden, Lloyd's replacement assistant who was originally fired at TMA in Season 2]
Ari: Get out of here, Glenn.
Glenn: Where do you want me to go?
Ari: Anywhere but here or I will kill you.

[Ari tries to convince studio head Richard Wimmer about the potential of Billy Walsh's Silo script, but Dana Gordon is determined to see Walsh and Vince fired from the project because it is not the script Walsh was paid to write.]
Richard Wimmer: I'm gonna tear your head off, Ari.
Ari Gold: Please don't, because I have [shows script] your summer movie. [begins to explain script] From the director of Medellin and Queens Boulevard comes Silo. It is the story of a group of non-unionized farm hands who band together to survive a nuclear attack after discovering an underground society. It is ready to shoot, Billy Walsh is on board, Vinnie Chase is on board, and if you're not, Fox, Universal, and Sony are.
Dana Gordon: He's bluffing.
Wimmer: What's it matter? There's a summer movie in there, we pack up our shit and go home.

[Billy Walsh introduces Vince and E to the post-production crew before showing the first cut of Medellin]
Billy: Guys, my whole crew is Latin; help make this film as absolutely authentic as it could be. My editor Raul, his assistant slash little brother Terro. Both Mexican, both totally legal. My, uh, post guy's Brazilian, the caterers from Chile. Every Thursday we get that endangered sea bass flown in.
Eric: [sees very pretty Latina woman walk past him] What does she do?
Billy: She gives blow jobs. Seriously, she's a street walker I brought back from Colombia.

[Drama and a French girl who picked him up at Yair Marx's boat talk about Viking Quest, which is a big hit in France]
Drama: [Laughs] That's amazing. I didn't know that episode aired, we got cancelled in the middle of shooting it.
Jacqueline: Well, it aired here. I've seen that scene a hundred times.
Drama: A hundred? Come on.
Jacqueline: I'm not exaggerate! My whole family, especially my father, loved Viking Quest. At 9pm every Thursday, we'd be like, [speaks French dialogue]
Drama: Really?
Jacqueline: Oui! He put on my brother in the uniform that you wore on the show for his birthday. He's so funny, though his muscles are not as big as yours.
Drama: That's amazing.
Jacqueline: Amazing is meeting you. Here.
Drama: Yeah.
Jacqueline: So shall we go back to your hotel?

[E and Anna Faris are on the phone.]
E: You know that we've been on the phone for like, 97 minutes?
Anna Faris: Well, I needed something to pass the time before the Pussycat Dolls comes on.
E: You're obsessed, you know that?
Faris: Hey, some people have drugs or alcohol in times of sadness, I have reality TV.

[E and Billy try to patch up their differences over the Medellin trailer leak]
Eric: But he sent me an email at four a.m. threatening to kill me.
Billy: And then at five a.m., my editor called and told me that he got pissed at his girl last week and put a video of him giving her a facial on cumfiesta.com. She got back at him with my trailer... our trailer.

[E has just found out that Billy suddenly sent a print of Medellin to the Cannes Film Festival committee]
Ari: Yes E, I would say being rejected by Cannes before we have a distributor would be a disaster.

[E has just seen a trailer for Medellin at Billy Walsh's post-production lab]
E: Wow, this looks great.
Technician: Yeah, if only the movie looked so good.
E: What?
Technician: I didn't say anything. [turns off editing machine and leaves]

[Eager to win the dating bet against E, Turtle try to find the woman he and Drama propositioned over Craigslist]
Turtle: [sees young woman on table] Excuse me. You wouldn't happen to be Kelsey, would you?
Woman: And even if I was, I'd say no.
Turtle: [leaves her] That's just rude, honey.

[Eric answers the phone in his new office.]
Eric: Eric Murphy.
Ari: Like the new office number E? You know, it spells 274-COCK.
Eric: It does not!
Ari: No, it doesn't, but I made you look!