Turtle: [To Tom Brady] Do you picture yourself in a Giants jersey? That blue matches your eyes. [Brady is surprised]
Ari: [joins gang] How's your day, boys?
Turtle: We're having dinner at Tom Brady's house.
Ari: [to Brady] You know he's not a Make-A-Wish kid right? [gang laughs]

[Aaron Sorkin and Ari Gold visit Andrew Klein in jail]
Andrew Klein: Act as if you have faith, and fate shall be given to you.
Ari Gold: This is pathetic.
Aaron Sorkin: He's quoting me. It's the West Wing, the Assassination episode.
Klein: I had more of your quotes. I had a lot of ideas, amazing, brilliant ideas, but I couldn't get into my house. My wife wouldn't let me get them and I blew that chance. I blew my marriage and if I blew this with you, I'd blow my career too.
Ari: I'm sorry, Aaron-[Sorkin gestures him to let Andrew speak]
Klein: I drove into my own house for you Aaron. My own, uninsured, overpriced Beverly Hills motherfucking home. I took my car, and I put it into gear, and I drove it [cracking voice] right into my own goddamn living room...for you. Who else would do that? [cries]
Sorkin: [taps screen] I had a rough divorce too. I get it. [pause] We'll give it a shot.
Klein: Really?
Sorkin: Yeah, but if he [points to Ari] ever calls me, I'm gone. [hangs up and leaves]

[Ari and Mrs Ari discuss Terrance's buyout offer with the marriage therapist, and the real reason comes to light after Mrs Ari mentions Terrance, Adam Davies, and Lloyd]
Therapist: Is it true? Do you want to destroy these people, Ari?
Ari: Okay, yes. If I could GOUGE OUT Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And LLOYD, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog and who left me for those two scumbags, I would tie him up and allow the entire Screen Actors Guild to anally rape him if not for the fact that I'd know he would enjoy it. I hate them all, and yes, I want to see them destroyed. But that is not why I want this company. I want - no, I need - this company, because it's good business. It's good goddamn business and if I don't buy it, someone else will and that will be very very bad for my business. And my wife, of all people, should know, that when it comes to business, my judgment is never clouded, so please [pleads to Mrs Ari] please support me like you always have, and I will deliver for us, like I always have.
Therapist: So, what do you think?
Mrs Ari: I think it was a good speech.
Therapist: Yeah.
Mrs Ari: Do what you need to do, Ari.
Ari: Really?[Mrs Ari nods] I love you. [Kisses Mrs Ari then to therapist] Can we fuck in here?

[Ari has a new assistant]
Matt: I got you a blueberry grand muffin from the Belwood Bakery, 'cause I was told it's your favorite. [walks together with Ari]
Ari: It is...[gets muffin from paper bag] except this is cranberry. [Matt is flabbergasted] See the red berries? [shoves muffin and paper bag in Matt's face]
Matt: Um, I asked for blue-
Ari: Did you check?
Matt: No.
Ari: Bye, Matt. [leaves him behind]
Matt: So, back to Human Resources?
Ari: Back to the Iowa farmhouse that breastfed you 'til 15!

[Ari has a three-way teleconference with Adam Davies and a very pissed off Zac Efron]
Zac Efron: You still there, Adam?
Adam Davies: Yup.
Efron: Good. You're fired. I'm with Ari now.
Ari: Good Yontiff! [claps hands and breaks off link to Davies] Beautiful work, Zac, beautiful. You are now my new favorite client. I cannot wait to get you a producer credit on College Musical.
Efron: That's hilarious, Ari. How about a signing present? Something with four wheels and leather seats?

[Ari has just reprimanded Lizzie Grant and Andrew Klein over their affair]
Lizzie Grant: I'd like to go back to my desk now. I'd like to do my job.
Ari: Go! [Lizzie leaves] You so much as eye-fuck another agent in this building, I will deport you naked to the Taliban.

[Ari has just talked to Lizzie over her affair with Andrew Klein]
Ari: Lloyd, come in here. [Lloyd enters office]
Lloyd: Yes, Mr Gold?
Ari: I want you to keep an eye on Andrew Klein.
Lloyd: Keep my eyes on him, how?
Ari: Pretend he's Zac Efron's ballsack.... and find me if you spot anything strange.

[Ari is livid that Lloyd resigned and now works for Adam Davies at TMA]
Lloyd: I'm sorry you feel that way, Ari.
Ari Gold: [over the phone] You're sorry, Lloyd?!?! You have NO IDEA how sorry you're going to be. I am going to destroy you, I am going to ERRODE every fiber of your spirit. You no longer exist, you are dead to me, and the town will know that anyone meeting with you, speaking with you, or even NODDING to you on the street will be dead as well. So die, Lloyd. Die, die, DIE! And when you're gagging on Davies' balls, I want you to bite down so he can die too!

[Ari tries to sell Andrew Klein about the potential of Mrs Ari hanging out with Marlo Klein]
Ari: My wife will love her, trust me. And when we're together after this, we don't have to speak to them and we get to keep all our money.

[At a break in the Five Towns shoot, E reveals to the gang something about him and Ashley]
Drama: You called Ashley "Sloan" and you weren't mid-fuck??
Turtle: It's the worst. That's why I always stick with "Yeah, baby!"
Drama: I was thinking you would accidentally call out Vince's. [Turtle flips him off]
Vince: So how did you cover?
E: I told her she was hearing things.
Vince: Jesus.
Drama: I bet you she took that well.
E: Yeah, she left.
Turtle: Who wouldn't?
Vince: Why didn't you chase after?
Turtle: Because he loves Sloan!

[At a restaurant, E has told Ashley that he's breaking up with her. A phone call to him is driving her nuts]
Ashley: [to E, who's preparing to leave] You know you are really a piece-of-shit liar. You love fucking with me, don't you? You just said this morning that you want to be exclusive so you could use me and pull this shit now. I can't believe I fell for your nice guy act. You are real sick.
E: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.
Ashley: And I'm sorry you're a douchebag!
E: Look, I didn't lie to you about anything. I actually liked you, but you show up at the premiere uninvited, you check my phone, you listen to my messages, you want my emails? [Ashley squirms in seat] You say you are not crazy, but all signs point to the contrary. I'm sorry. [Leaves restaurant]

[At E's first staff meeting at Murray Berenson, a number of female employees come into the conference room carrying several boxes of large-size pizzas]
Female Employee: These just came at the front desk for you.
E: I didn't order any pizza.
Female Employee: Ari Gold sent them. The delivery boy said "Good luck. You're no longer a pizza boy, you're now [offers boxes] a pizza man." [employees at table laugh]

[Drama appears in the kitchen to see Turtle and Vince incensed over Aaron Cohen's bodyguards being too noisy. Turtle notices Drama's disfigured face]
Turtle: What's with the face? [Vince is surprised]
Drama: They surprised me with a new scene when I got to the set last night. Battery acid sprays out of my car engine. Four hours of makeup...[voice slows to bitter murmur] for one line, compliments of Dan Coakley.
Vince: Why don't you take it off?
Drama: I gotta shoot again tonight. I can't bear another session in my makeup chair. [Splits bagel with bagel slicer he just bought]
Turtle: Now you got two bad sides.
Drama: [agitated] Don't start with me Turtle, I am exhausted! [slaps hand hard on bagel slicer]
Turtle: Oh you are? We got the Israeli Army waking us up all night, you can go home!
Drama: Baby bro is hungry, and you can go to Jamie's.

[Drama tries to head to the studio with a gift and an apology for attempting to attack studio boss Dan Coakley, whom he claims had sex with Jamie-Lynn Sigler, but Lawrence the guard stops him]
Drama: Wanna roll up this gate?
Lawrence: 'Fraid I can't do that.
Drama: Why not?
Lawrence: You're on the list.
Drama: What list?
Lawrence: The "Banned from the Lot" list. That's why your picture's right there. [shows folder with a list and pictures of people]
Drama: Well, my picture's right there! [points to Five Towns ad] How do you explain that?
Lawrence: Can't, but the message came from Dan Coakley himself, so I'm assuming whatever you did, looks real bad.

[E and Sloan are having a fight on the road about getting back together]
E: Why is it so selfish 'cause I'm tryin' to tell you i wanna be with you?
Sloan: [gets out of car and walks away] Because last time you convinced me it was forever, you took off with your buddies five minutes later!
E: I'm sorry, I was trying to get my business going!
Sloan: You took me for granted.
E: [blocks her] I know!
Sloan: Eric, why are you doing this to me?
E: Because I love you.
Sloan: I will not get lured back into this. I can't trust you! You love to have a girlfriend, but on your terms! You're never gonna be able to commit, not to anyone!
E: That is not true, I will commit to you right now!
Sloan: Eric, STOP!
E: I swear to God, I'm gonna marry you.
Sloan: [sarcastic] You'll marry me?
E: Yes, I'm gonna get into that car right now, drive to Vegas and commit to you for the rest of my life.
Sloan: Really? Have you even thought about this?
E: Yeah. I have, and this time I swear on my life, it'll be forever. [presents engagement ring]
Season 7