NCIS quotes
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[Lee draws back her hand to throw a knife. It flies out of her hand and hits the wall behind them, narrowly missing Gibbs as he enters.]
Ziva: I thought you said you grew up around weapons?
Lee: I did. I didn't say my father let me near them.
Ziva: I thought you said you grew up around weapons?
Lee: I did. I didn't say my father let me near them.
[McGee and Ziva are trying to find a bullet in pile of vomit]
McGee: Well, we could toss a coin. [Ziva gives him a look] Or not. All right, give me some gloves.
Ziva: You didn't pack the gloves.
McGee: I thought you packed the gloves.
Ziva: [laughs] I didn't pack the gloves.
McGee: Well, we could toss a coin. [Ziva gives him a look] Or not. All right, give me some gloves.
Ziva: You didn't pack the gloves.
McGee: I thought you packed the gloves.
Ziva: [laughs] I didn't pack the gloves.
[McGee has to wear hospital scrubs while Abby tests his clothes for radiation.]
Tony: Clothes make the man, what does that make McGee?
Ziva: Male nurse?
Tony: No, Aquasmurf.
Tony: Clothes make the man, what does that make McGee?
Ziva: Male nurse?
Tony: No, Aquasmurf.
[using a computer program that predicts the features of a couple's children, Tony and Abby combine Gibbs and Jenny and produce a hypothetical daughter.]
Tony: Wow... even with Gibbs as a father, I'd date her.
Gibbs: Never more than once, DiNozzo.
Abby: Aw, you and the Director make nice Gibblets, Gibbs.
Tony: Wow... even with Gibbs as a father, I'd date her.
Gibbs: Never more than once, DiNozzo.
Abby: Aw, you and the Director make nice Gibblets, Gibbs.
[Ziva is teaching knife throwing. Tony off to the side is eating Froot Loops and smirking]
Ziva: At Mossad we have a saying: Knives don't run out of bullets. Now, any questions pertaining to this class?
Tony: I've got one. You ever killed anyone with a spoon?
Ziva: No, but I am seriously considering it.
Ziva: At Mossad we have a saying: Knives don't run out of bullets. Now, any questions pertaining to this class?
Tony: I've got one. You ever killed anyone with a spoon?
Ziva: No, but I am seriously considering it.
[McGee is upset that Tony still calls him 'Probie']
Gibbs: McGee, how long have I been an NCIS Special agent?
McGee: Almost... sixteen years.
Gibbs: Wanna take a wild guess at what my first partner still calls me?
Gibbs: McGee, how long have I been an NCIS Special agent?
McGee: Almost... sixteen years.
Gibbs: Wanna take a wild guess at what my first partner still calls me?