NCIS quotes
1049 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Abby: What are you going to do while I test for poison in a health snack?
Tony: I'll wait.
Abby: There's a futon under the desk.
Tony: Bless you.
Abby: What are you, my priest?
Tony: Curse you?
Tony: I'll wait.
Abby: There's a futon under the desk.
Tony: Bless you.
Abby: What are you, my priest?
Tony: Curse you?
Abby: What do you think Kate?
Kate: I think that you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.
Abby: All I drank was Redbull!
Kate: How many?
Abby: (slight pause) Eighteen.
Kate: I think that you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.
Abby: All I drank was Redbull!
Kate: How many?
Abby: (slight pause) Eighteen.
Abby: You're on the air.
Gibbs: Hey Abbs.
Abby: Gibbs. How did we do with the moles?
Gibbs: Spooks, Abby, spooks.
Abby: I can never get that straight.
Gibbs: Hey Abbs.
Abby: Gibbs. How did we do with the moles?
Gibbs: Spooks, Abby, spooks.
Abby: I can never get that straight.
Ari: How do you alert visitors when conducting an infectious autopsy?
Ducky: We hang a decomposing body in the corridor.
Ducky: We hang a decomposing body in the corridor.
Ari: You tried to trick me Dr. Mallard.
Ducky: That wasn't a condition.
Ari: It is now.
Ducky: That wasn't a condition.
Ari: It is now.
Ari: Any good with this gun, Caitlin?
Kate: Give it back and I'll demonstrate.
Ari: Ever fire it in anger?
Kate: I'd love to right now.
Kate: Give it back and I'll demonstrate.
Ari: Ever fire it in anger?
Kate: I'd love to right now.
Detective: You're telling me the suits from Hoover didn't save The Man? [referring to the President, as seen in "Yankee White"]
Tony: Hell no it was N-C-I-us.
Detective: Not according to the TV reports.
Tony: When do they get it right?
Tony: Hell no it was N-C-I-us.
Detective: Not according to the TV reports.
Tony: When do they get it right?
Ducky: Well if you'll excuse me, I'll get our poor seaman out of his wet clothes.
Tony: You're not going to say, and into a dry Martini, are you?
Tony: You're not going to say, and into a dry Martini, are you?
Ducky: You know post mortem details can be extremely revealing. Remember that case four years ago, where the young Marine was buried in an anthill up to his neck?
Gibbs: Duck. It was eight years ago. [Points to a body in the morgue] How did he die?
Ducky: No, it can't be eight years. No, I know it wasn't! Four years ago your third wife hit you over the head with a baseball bat. I distinctly remember the ant-eaten Marine on that table there when I stitched you up.
Gibbs: Duck. It was eight years ago. [Points to a body in the morgue] How did he die?
Ducky: No, it can't be eight years. No, I know it wasn't! Four years ago your third wife hit you over the head with a baseball bat. I distinctly remember the ant-eaten Marine on that table there when I stitched you up.
Executive: Please tell me Suzanne is not dead.
Tony: Suzanne is not dead.
Executive: [stops typing]
Gibbs: Woops.
Tony: Big woops.
Tony: Suzanne is not dead.
Executive: [stops typing]
Gibbs: Woops.
Tony: Big woops.
FBI Agent Charles: You're under arrest.
Gibbs: For what?
Charles: Pissing off the FBI.
Gibbs: Get used to it.
Gibbs: For what?
Charles: Pissing off the FBI.
Gibbs: Get used to it.
Fornell: Directors want your word that you'll forget about Ari. They think you'll blow his cover.
Gibbs: If I get pay back, it won't be by blowing his cover. Why are you asking me this and not my director?
Fornell: He refused to.
Gibbs: [finally laughs] Yeah.
Season Two
Gibbs: If I get pay back, it won't be by blowing his cover. Why are you asking me this and not my director?
Fornell: He refused to.
Gibbs: [finally laughs] Yeah.
Season Two
Gerald: I never figured anyone who could sleep in a coffin could have a phobia but it's the kind of kinky thing Abby would get.
Ari: She slept in a coffin?
Ducky: She's goth.
[Ari shudders]
Ari: She slept in a coffin?
Ducky: She's goth.
[Ari shudders]