NCIS quotes
1049 total quotesAll Seasons
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Gibbs: DiNozzo, David, wait here.
Tony: You sure about that, Boss...? Of course, because if you weren't, you'd be saying, "DiNozzo, David, follow me." PROBIE, STOP IT!
Tony: You sure about that, Boss...? Of course, because if you weren't, you'd be saying, "DiNozzo, David, follow me." PROBIE, STOP IT!
Gibbs: Do I need to send you two back to the men's room?
Tony: Hey! She followed me in there!
Ziva: Only because you wouldn't talk to me!
Tony: [Gibbs stares them down] Shutting up, Boss.
Tony: Hey! She followed me in there!
Ziva: Only because you wouldn't talk to me!
Tony: [Gibbs stares them down] Shutting up, Boss.
Gibbs: Do you know what a "clog" is?
Ziva: A shoe or a blocked drain?
Gibbs: No, on the Internet.
Ziva: Oh, I thought it was called a "blog," but then again my English is often wrong.
Ziva: A shoe or a blocked drain?
Gibbs: No, on the Internet.
Ziva: Oh, I thought it was called a "blog," but then again my English is often wrong.
Gibbs: He could have gone to a vet.
Kate: Tony's marking that territory.
Tony: Ha-ha. Cute.
Kate: Tony's marking that territory.
Tony: Ha-ha. Cute.
Gibbs: He stay at your place?
Abby: Yup.
Gibbs: You sleep in the coffin, McGee?
McGee: Coffin? You said that it was a box sofa bed.
Abby: Well... it is! Sort of...
McGee: That's why you wouldn't turn the lights on. I can't believe I just slept in a coffin.
Abby: ...Not just slept.
Abby: Yup.
Gibbs: You sleep in the coffin, McGee?
McGee: Coffin? You said that it was a box sofa bed.
Abby: Well... it is! Sort of...
McGee: That's why you wouldn't turn the lights on. I can't believe I just slept in a coffin.
Abby: ...Not just slept.
Gibbs: Hey DiNozzo, kinda reminds me of your apartment, except for that minty fresh urine smell.
Tony: Hey for your information I have a maid now.
Gibbs: You can afford a maid?
Tony: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three alimonies.
Tony: Hey for your information I have a maid now.
Gibbs: You can afford a maid?
Tony: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three alimonies.
Gibbs: How could she not know?
Randy: We met at Mark's memorial service.
Gibbs: What'd you say? 'I was passing by, dug the music, decided to drop in?'
Randy: We met at Mark's memorial service.
Gibbs: What'd you say? 'I was passing by, dug the music, decided to drop in?'
Gibbs: How long to find the acid and check out the rest of the chutes?
Abby: Well, I'm flying solo, so at least a day.
Gibbs: Go faster if you had an assistant?
Abby: Definitely.
Gibbs: Okay, you got the job.
Kate: I get to do forensics?
Gibbs: No, you get to schlep for Abby. She gets to do forensics.
Abby: Well, I'm flying solo, so at least a day.
Gibbs: Go faster if you had an assistant?
Abby: Definitely.
Gibbs: Okay, you got the job.
Kate: I get to do forensics?
Gibbs: No, you get to schlep for Abby. She gets to do forensics.
Gibbs: How was the pawn shop?
Ziva: I hit a stone wall.
Tony: It's a brick wall.
Ziva: No, it was a stone wall. I backed up too quickly.
Ziva: I hit a stone wall.
Tony: It's a brick wall.
Ziva: No, it was a stone wall. I backed up too quickly.
Gibbs: If that thing came off an aircraft, someone filed a TFOA report for it.
Kate: TFOA?
Tony: Things falling off aircraft.
Kate: You're kidding.
Gibbs: Nope. Navy keeps records on that sort of thing, all the way back to biplanes.
Kate: TFOA?
Tony: Things falling off aircraft.
Kate: You're kidding.
Gibbs: Nope. Navy keeps records on that sort of thing, all the way back to biplanes.
Gibbs: Looks like they're putting decoder rings in cereal boxes again. [the team just stares at him] ...What?
Tony: Uh... little before our time, boss.
Tony: Uh... little before our time, boss.
Gibbs: Make sure he didn't do any of that virus goat rope crap to my thing [gesturing to his computer after Fornell has been using it]
McGee: Goat rope?
Tony: Marine term, Probie.
Kate: It means half way between FUBAR and SNAFU.
McGee: Okay, uh, what's FUBAR?
Kate/Tony: You are!
McGee: Goat rope?
Tony: Marine term, Probie.
Kate: It means half way between FUBAR and SNAFU.
McGee: Okay, uh, what's FUBAR?
Kate/Tony: You are!
Gibbs: Marital problems?
Ziva: Well, according to someone called Scuttle Butt, he caught his wife cheating on him.
Gibbs: Scuttlebutt's not a person, Ziva. Scuttlebutt is what Marines call gossip.
Ziva: And you wonder why I have a problem with your language.
Ziva: Well, according to someone called Scuttle Butt, he caught his wife cheating on him.
Gibbs: Scuttlebutt's not a person, Ziva. Scuttlebutt is what Marines call gossip.
Ziva: And you wonder why I have a problem with your language.