Gibbs: Abs, do you have him?
Abby: [smug] Are you seriously asking me that?
Gibbs: [deadpan] No, I called to flirt.

Gibbs: Abs, music?
Abby: I know. I can barely stand it. I can't focus, it's effecting my cognitive function, I'm getting agitated. It's not for me. It's for them. [indicating maggots in a jar] I'm playing classical music for babies. It's supposed to increase their spatiotemporal reasoning and increase intelligence. [sighs] If I keep listening to this, I'm gonna turn into a psycho killer.

Gibbs: Abs, what do you got?
Abby: I am not at liberty to discuss the details of Director Vance's case with you. And I would certainly hope that you wouldn't try to bribe me.
Gibbs: I wouldn't do that. [he sets a Caf-pow next to her]
Abby: Because I can't say a word about the five slugs that Ducky pulled out of Owens' body. Not that there's a word to say, 'cause I don't even know if these .45 cal S&Ws are a match to the weapon that was found in the deceased's pocket. Not that I would tell you if they are. I'm assuming that your curiosity is for educational purposes. After Ducky does the autopsy we should be able to calculate how long that accumulated post mortem gasses took to counteract the weight that kept Owens submerged.

Gibbs: Ah, there you are, Jen. I've been looking all over for you.
Jen: I thought since we were short on agents, Abby could use some help.
Gibbs: The only reason we are short on agents is because you sent DiNozzo home.
Jen: Well, there's no sense getting us all sick...
Abby: [as Gibbs] Next time you send one of my team home you clear it with me first, Director! [as Jen] Oh, I didn't know I needed your permission to handle my own personnel, Agent Gibbs! [as Gibbs] Your personnel?! [as Jen] Last time I checked, it said "Director" on my door, not yours! [to both of them] The kids don't like it when mommy and daddy fight.

Gibbs: Any tattoos Ducky?
Ducky: Ahh, a direct query, demanding a direct response, which in this case is a direct no.

Gibbs: Any word on Dina Risi?
Sheriff Boyd: No. We tried all our sources. No one seems to know where she went.
Gibbs: You know her?
Sheriff Boyd: Well, I met her. She was chained to a tree, I was the one with the bolt cutters and handcuffs.

Gibbs: Anything Abby?
Abby: This is the left rear tire off Commander Julius's car. Notice anything unusual?
Gibbs: It's inflated.
Abby: Is that a guess, or do you actually know where I'm going with this?
Gibbs: What do you think?
Abby: Well, I don't know, that's why I asked you.
Gibbs: Why don't you just tell me?
Abby: So you don't know.
Gibbs: I want to make sure you know.
Abby: Hmmmm.
Gibbs: Hmmmm.
Abby: We should play poker sometime.
Gibbs: Yeah, we should.

Gibbs: Anything else?
Abby: A number.
Gibbs: One, two, six?
Abby: One hundred and twenty six. That is the number of days that Tony, McGee and Ziva have been gone. I really didn't think you'd let it get into triple digits, Gibbs! But now it's way more! It's like a third of a whole year! I miss them!
Gibbs: Abby, you had lunch with McGee yesterday.
Abby: It's not the same. I miss them collectively, as a group. My three musketeers.

Gibbs: Come on, Corporal. Let a Gunny buy you dinner.
Ernie Yost: You... you were never an officer?
Gibbs: Ah, hell no!
Yost: I knew there was something I liked about you.

Gibbs: Come on, DiNozzo. We've got problems - someone's trying to kill us again.
Tony:' [to a concerned Abby] I'm sure he didn't mean that.
[Later]
Tony: So someone really is trying to kill us?!

Gibbs: Come on, lets get you boots, you can't do field work in heels.
Tony: Depends what kind of field work!

Gibbs: Commander Tanner's been gone for forty-seven hours.
Ziva: If he's not dead, he soon will be.
McGee: Maybe we can convince her to change her mind about the lawyer?
Ziva: Oh, I can convince her of far more than that.
Gibbs: How long?
Ziva: Not long.
Gibbs: McGee, you thirsty? Come on, I'll get you a cup of coffee.

Gibbs: Courage doesn't have anything to do with medals. It's simple. You run to the gunfire, not away from it.

Gibbs: Did I say both of you?
Kate: Well, you didn't not say both of us, Gibbs.
Tony: Yes, she's kinda got a point there, boss.

Gibbs: DiNozzo!
Tony: Boss?
Gibbs: Stop eating the evidence.