[Best man Ross is walking down the aisle with bridesmaids Phoebe and Rachel.]
Ross: This is nice.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce!
Season 8

[Chandler and Monica start to make out.]
Chandler: How drunk are you?
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I want to do this. Not so drunk enough that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Chandler: That's the perfect amount!

[Chandler dressed as Santa, has just been asked to leave]
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.

[Chandler's parents meet up at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler's father is now a transvestite.]
Charles Bing: Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora Bing: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?

[Monica and Chandler are looking at photos.]
Monica: Chandler, what is wrong with your face? This picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron." [The photographer laughs.] Hey, don't laugh at him. He's my drowning moron.

[Monica and Chandler jump under the bedcovers. Chandler swiftly doffs his clothes.]
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.

[Monica and Chandler kiss.]
Monica: Hey, do you think you can keep that suit a little longer?
Chandler: Santa? Really?
Monica: Yeah. Is that okay?
Chandler: Did your dad ever dress up as Santa?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Then it's OKAY!

[Monica opens the door to find Ross and Rachel kissing in the hallway.]
'Monica : Oh, I'm sorry, I seem to have opened the door to the past!... I know what you're trying to do! You're trying to steal my thunder!
Rachel: Oh, no honey -- we weren't trying to steal your thunder, honest. No one was meant to see!
Monica : Right, now I get it. That's why you two were kissing in the secret hallway where nobody ever goes!

[Ross and his attractive cousin Cassie are reminiscing.]
Ross: And I'll always remember that summer, because that's when I realized that we are related.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out?
Ross: I'm a little slow. [under his breath] Just as our children would be.

[Ross, Chandler and Joey sit on a couch watching a movie]
Chandler: Die Hard, still great!
Joey: Hey, what do you say we make a double feature?
Ross: What else did you rent?
Joey: Die Hard 2!
Chandler: Joe, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Ohh..well if we watch it a second time then it's Die Hard 2!
Ross: Joey we just saw it.
Joey: And?
Ross: And it would be cool to see it again!
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!
Ross [to Chandler]: Dude, you didn't say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Chandler: Yeah, I just..i got plans.
Ross: Well, John McClane had plans.
Chandler: Alright, you see the thing is..I wanna get outta here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody "bitch".
Joey: What are you talkin' about...bitch?

[The future in-laws, including Chandler's cross-dressing father Charles, are chatting.]
Judy Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress.
Nora Bing: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Charles Bing: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then.
Nora Bing: Honey, it isn't good luck.