Friends quotes
613 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4
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Monica: [Trying to seduce Chandler] I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out.
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out.
Monica: Danny, you know Rachel? She's nice. She's not bad to look at, right?
Rachel: Thanks, Mon.
Danny: Well, of course.
Monica: Do you want to go out on a date with her?
Rachel: Monica!
Danny: Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
Monica: Friday's perfect. She can't wait.
Danny: [to Monica] On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly?
Rachel: Thanks, Mon.
Danny: Well, of course.
Monica: Do you want to go out on a date with her?
Rachel: Monica!
Danny: Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
Monica: Friday's perfect. She can't wait.
Danny: [to Monica] On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly?
Monica: Do you really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?
Chandler: Well, no, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry's about fourth, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married.
Chandler: Well, no, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry's about fourth, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married.
Monica: Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
Chandler: Oh. So?
Monica: So we've gotta go upstairs and have a lot of sex and prove them wrong.
Chandler: Honey, you've got to stop this competitive thing. Just to beat some other couple you want me to go upstairs and have sex with you over and over and over and... I'm saying no to this why? Get your coat!
Chandler: Oh. So?
Monica: So we've gotta go upstairs and have a lot of sex and prove them wrong.
Chandler: Honey, you've got to stop this competitive thing. Just to beat some other couple you want me to go upstairs and have sex with you over and over and over and... I'm saying no to this why? Get your coat!
Monica: I'm really getting tired of always sneaking around all the time.
Chandler: Me, too. What if we went away for the weekend? No interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Monica All weekend? That's a whole lot naked.
Chandler: I'll say I have a conference and you can have a... uh... chef thing.
Monica: I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair in Jersey!
Chandler: Okay! You know you're not, though.
Chandler: Me, too. What if we went away for the weekend? No interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Monica All weekend? That's a whole lot naked.
Chandler: I'll say I have a conference and you can have a... uh... chef thing.
Monica: I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair in Jersey!
Chandler: Okay! You know you're not, though.
Monica: I'm sorry.
Chandler: Well, sorry doesn't bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home.
Chandler: Well, sorry doesn't bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home.
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war! I really think I'd make a fantastic military leader. I mean, I know I'd make general before any of you guys.
Chandler: Before or after you were shot by your own troops?
Chandler: Before or after you were shot by your own troops?
Monica: Okay. You cannot tell Chandler. Okay? But I ran into Richard.
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Monica: The Richard.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?!
Monica: No, my ex-boyfriend Richard. You know: the tall guy, mustache.
Phoebe: Okay, that actually makes more sense. How was it?
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Monica: The Richard.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?!
Monica: No, my ex-boyfriend Richard. You know: the tall guy, mustache.
Phoebe: Okay, that actually makes more sense. How was it?
Monica: So basically, this is a getting-rid-of-everything-Rachel-ever-used sale.
Ross: Touched, used, sat on, slept on.
Gunther: I'll take it all.
Ross: Touched, used, sat on, slept on.
Gunther: I'll take it all.
Monica: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
Rachel: It was, like, this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something!
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Rachel Yeah, I -- I -- I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass!
Joey: Uhh, like, dark hair, bushy beard?
Rachel: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
Rachel: Please! We did not fog Danny!... Who's Danny?
Rachel: It was, like, this crazy-eyed, hairy beast man! He was like a, like a bigfoot or a yeti or something!
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Rachel Yeah, I -- I -- I just pulled the tab and I just fogged his yeti ass!
Joey: Uhh, like, dark hair, bushy beard?
Rachel: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
Rachel: Please! We did not fog Danny!... Who's Danny?
Monica: What's that noise you just made?
Chandler: Oh, that? That's my work laugh.
Monica: Your work laugh?
Chandler: Yeah, and if you want to survive this party, you'll need to come up with one too.
Chandler: Oh, that? That's my work laugh.
Monica: Your work laugh?
Chandler: Yeah, and if you want to survive this party, you'll need to come up with one too.
Monica: You are so cute. How did you get to be so cute?
Chandler: Well, my grandfather was Swedish and my grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.
Chandler: Well, my grandfather was Swedish and my grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.
Phoebe: [about which route to take to Vegas] Oh, if you take the northern route, there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees.
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Phoebe: But on the southern route, there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Phoebe: But on the southern route, there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Phoebe: I just found a selfless good deed; I went to the park and let a bee sting me.
Joey: How is that a good deed?
Phoebe: Because now the bee gets to look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am not.
Joey: Now you know the bee probably died when he stung you?
Phoebe: Dammit!
Joey: How is that a good deed?
Phoebe: Because now the bee gets to look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am not.
Joey: Now you know the bee probably died when he stung you?
Phoebe: Dammit!
Phoebe: I'm going to kiss you now.
Chandler: Not if I kiss you first. [They awkwardly put their hands on each other] Well...I guess there's nothing left for us to do but... but kiss.
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
[They slowly reach each other and kiss, which Chandler breaks away from]
Chandler: Okay, okay, okay, you win! You win! I can't have sex with you!
Phoebe: And why not?
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!
Phoebe: You're...you're what?
Chandler: [as Monica, Rachel and Joey enter] Love her! That's right, I love her! I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you, too, Chandler.
Phoebe: I thought you guys were doing it. I didn't know you were in love.
Chandler: Not if I kiss you first. [They awkwardly put their hands on each other] Well...I guess there's nothing left for us to do but... but kiss.
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
[They slowly reach each other and kiss, which Chandler breaks away from]
Chandler: Okay, okay, okay, you win! You win! I can't have sex with you!
Phoebe: And why not?
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!
Phoebe: You're...you're what?
Chandler: [as Monica, Rachel and Joey enter] Love her! That's right, I love her! I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you, too, Chandler.
Phoebe: I thought you guys were doing it. I didn't know you were in love.