Friends quotes
613 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
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Season 9
Season 10
I'm gonna get your money
And you will never see them
And your fly's still open [Ross looks down]
Ha, I made you look
And you will never see them
And your fly's still open [Ross looks down]
Ha, I made you look
New York City has no power
And the milk is getting sour :: But to me it is not scary
'Cause I stay away from dairy.
And the milk is getting sour :: But to me it is not scary
'Cause I stay away from dairy.
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry and you cry...
[Ross gives Phoebe a dollar]
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross!
Ross: I'm paying you to stop.
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry and you cry...
[Ross gives Phoebe a dollar]
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross!
Ross: I'm paying you to stop.
[Chandler and Joey are talking like cavemen.]
Chandler: Men are here.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing. No get invited back.
Chandler: Men are here.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing. No get invited back.
[Chandler is setting the record straight with his mother and Joey's listening in
Joey: [to Ross] ... and then he said, "When are you gonna start acting like my mom?" then she said "When are you
gonna realize I have a bomb?"
Ross: Are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna realize I am your mom?
Joey: Oh... That makes more sense.
Joey: [to Ross] ... and then he said, "When are you gonna start acting like my mom?" then she said "When are you
gonna realize I have a bomb?"
Ross: Are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna realize I am your mom?
Joey: Oh... That makes more sense.
[First words of the series and show]
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: Alright Joey, be nice.
Chandler: [to Monica] So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
[The others stare, bemused]
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: Alright Joey, be nice.
Chandler: [to Monica] So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
[The others stare, bemused]
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
[Monica has just beaten Joey and Chandler at foosball with just herself playing for the "who-knows?" how many times]
Monica: [happy] And that would be a shut-down!
Joey and Chandler: [in unison] SHUT-OUT!!
Monica: [happy] And that would be a shut-down!
Joey and Chandler: [in unison] SHUT-OUT!!
[Rachel is holding a weave over her breasts and yelling at Chandler for coming in with no announcement]
Chandler: [interrupting] Rachel, can I just say something?
Rachel: WHAT?!
Chandler: That's a loose weave. I can still see your uh... "nipular" area.
Chandler: [interrupting] Rachel, can I just say something?
Rachel: WHAT?!
Chandler: That's a loose weave. I can still see your uh... "nipular" area.
[Rachel's ex-fiance Barry just came in Monica's apartment door]
Barry: Rachel, I can't marry Mindy anymore. I want you.
Ross: [had been looking forward to asking her out] We really need to start locking that door!
Barry: Rachel, I can't marry Mindy anymore. I want you.
Ross: [had been looking forward to asking her out] We really need to start locking that door!
[The gang is playing poker.]
Rachel: I will see you... and I'll raise you. What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Ross: No, not this time. [he folds] So what'd you have?
Rachel: I'm not telling.
Ross: Come on, show them to me. [He reaches for her cards. Rachel covers them up]
Rachel: No!
Ross: Show them to me!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Ross: Let me see! Show them!
Chandler: You know, I've had dates like this.
Rachel: I will see you... and I'll raise you. What do you say... want to waste another buck?
Ross: No, not this time. [he folds] So what'd you have?
Rachel: I'm not telling.
Ross: Come on, show them to me. [He reaches for her cards. Rachel covers them up]
Rachel: No!
Ross: Show them to me!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Ross: Let me see! Show them!
Chandler: You know, I've had dates like this.