[Jimmy Kimmel notices Vince and Sara Foster holding hands]
Jimmy Kimmel: I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to ask you not to hold hands. FCC says no overt displays of affection. If you could just separate them, [Vince and Sara Foster separate hands] thank you.
Vince: We just had sex about five minutes ago. [crowd cheers]

[Just before the Queens Boulevard premiere, Vince and E see Turtle and Drama try ignore each other]
Turtle: Come on Drama, what are you thinking, bro?
Drama: [brushes off Turtle] Don't talk to me, Turtle. I can't hear you, I can't see you, I don't even wanna know you.
Turtle: You're yelling, alright?
E: What's your problem, Drama?
Turtle: Me and Drama had a little incident.
E: What kind of incident?
Drama: Don't fucking say it, man.
Vince: No no, say it.
Turtle: [long pause] We accidentally crossed swords.
E: Eww, really?
Vince: Really? [laughs] Were there any women in there, at least?
Turtle: Yeah, dick, it was a threesome. It's no biggie, crossing is an occupational hazard.

[Justine Chapin and Vince are flirting in a club.]
Justine: You're gonna have to work for it.
Vince: I got into this business so I wouldn't have to work.

[Lloyd confronts Ari a second time over his promotion prospects.]
Lloyd Lee: Do you have any plan to promote me?
Ari Gold: I haven't even thought about it.
Lloyd: Well you need to.
Ari: Lloyd...
Lloyd: [louder] Ari, promote me, or I'm leaving you!
Ari: Leaving me? [laughs] Where would you go?
Lloyd: To another agency.
Ari: Another agency? Lloyd, you have to start all over again. You know that.
Lloyd: Well, I'll go work for my father.
Ari: What, in the dry cleaners?
Lloyd: My father has a winery in Napa.
Ari: I don't think sodomy is legal in Napa, Lloyd. [laughs with Andrew Klein]
Lloyd: [after short pause] Every time I have broached this subject over the years, you have responded with some wise-ass comment. The time has come, I want to know if this is gonna happen. I want to know when, and I want to know today-
Ari: [stands up during Lloyd's speech] I WILL NOT BE STRONG-ARMED, LLOYD!
Lloyd: You just were, Ari Gold! [walks back to station]
Andrew Klein: Tough queer.

[Lloyd has connected with Dana Gordon, whom Ari wants to talk to.]
Lloyd: I have Dana Gordon.
Ari: [during push-ups] Weird, huh? I used to do push-ups like this on top of Dana Gordon. True story.

[Lloyd notices Ari's angry face after leaving Vince's Malibu house]
Lloyd: How'd it go?
Ari: How'd the fucking Bay of Pigs go, Lloyd?

[Lloyd sees Ari in tears reading the miners movie script]
Lloyd: Are you okay, Ari?
Ari: This character... [stands up] He loses his wife and his family, travels halfway around the world to save these guys so they can be with their loving families. You know what the saddest part is?
Lloyd: No?
Ari: I don't even have my dog. This job, Vince...it's all I've got. Is your department ready?
Lloyd: That's why I'm here. They're waiting.
Ari: Let's do this. [Ari meets agents at conference room and throws script on table] I don't know most of you. Why would I? I don't deal with TV, I especially don't deal with made-for-TV movies. This is different. Vince Chase wants this for his brother Johnny. Now we all know that Johnny Chase may have limited talent, but like a child with special needs, a real family member will stand by his side. A real family member will buy that child's way into Harvard, if that's what it takes. Vince Chase is standing by his brother, and I'm standing by both of them. Now I want every available option on how to get this movie made on the table by the end of the day. Whoever succeeds will forever be my family member. Whoever doesn't will be cleaning tanning beds in fucking Rancho Cucamonga-
Jake: [cuts in] I'm sorry Ari, Dana Gordon's on the phone for you.
Ari: [to agents] Looks like I just did your job for you. You're all fired.

[Lloyd sees Ari study some ledgers from Andrew Klein]
Lloyd: What are those?
Ari: His books. Company books. Gave 'm to me to prove that he can pay me back.... What am I doing? You're Asian, you're supposed to be good with numbers. Figure out if he has any shot at paying me back, because if he doesn't, you will!

[Medellin has finished screening, and the heckles have started flying]
Dana Gordon: Thanks for not selling me this movie Ari, it's the one nicest thing you've ever done for me. [to Yair Marx, whose beside Ari] Congratulations Yair, I hear it's all yours.
Yair Marx: I didn't sign anything.
Ari: What are you talking about?
Marx: That's the worst piece of shit I've ever seen!
Ari: Yair, we had a deal.
Marx: Sue me, my company's based out of Dubai. [puts on shades] Good luck.
Gordon: I'm sorry, Vince.
Billy Walsh: [in front of screen] Hey! Where the fuck are you French faggots going!?? Show some respect! Go below the line people, and watch the credit! What, no Q and A?
Harvey Weingard: [sits beside Ari] It ain't easy making a movie.
Ari: You come to gloat now Harvey?
Weingard: No, no. I just came to say that E was right, there's genius in this.
Ari: You want to buy it?
Weingard: I do - for one dollar.
Season 5

[Melinda Clarke has visited E at the Murphy-Lavin office]
E: So tell me, what's happening with you?
Melinda: I wanna work.
E: That's great.
Melinda: I need to work. Since Terrance and I have divorced, I can't sit still. It's so pathetic right?
E: Listen. I thought taking three years off was a complete waste of your time.
Melinda: That's easy for you to say. Unfortunately, my manager didn't take too kindly to my hiatus and dropped me.
E: Really? I didn't know of that.
Melinda: Why do you think I'm here? I want you to manage me.
E: Why me?
Melinda: Sloan always spoke so highly of you. I may hate her father, but I always love and respect her.
E: Yeah.
Melinda: Eric, I don't mean to put you on the spot, but I'm focused on committing to get my career back, so think about it. It would really mean a lot to me.

[Mrs Ari has caught Ari and Nick Rubenstein using the cellphone on Yom Kippur to negotiate for Vince working with in Paul Haggis' Medellin shoot after Benicio del Toro walks off.]
Mrs Ari: Give me the phone. [Ari turns over phone] And the Batphone. [Ari reluctantly turns over Blackberry hidden in ankle]

[Mrs Ari has caught Ari trying to slip away from the house]
Mrs Ari: Where are you going, Ari?
Ari Gold: I have a meeting.
Mrs Ari: At the Playboy Mansion? [looks at pajamas sticking out of Ari's slacks]
Ari: Playboy Mansion, strip clubs, whorehouses, I go where the meetings are. It's my fucking job.
Mrs Ari: I want three weeks in the south of France with the children.
Ari: Oh my God baby, [kisses her] of course you can go.
Mrs Ari: With you. And if you're not home by 2AM, I'm gonna be standing at the gate screaming "Ari Gold, super agent, forgot his Viagra."
Ari: [contemplates threat] Sounds good.

[Mrs Ari has just told Ari about her already seeing someone as they are separated]
Mrs Ari: Say something!
Ari: What is there to say? [stammers and walks out]

[On the way home from dinner, Ari and Mrs Ari discover that a screenplay M Night Shyamalan gave to Ari for reading has disappeared. They stop the car to find it.]
Ari: [having checked out the backseat] Jesus Christ, the valet probably stole it.
Mrs Ari: Don't be racist.
Ari: Valets steal shit, alright? Just because they're mostly Hispanic, doesn't make a racist. You know what happens if this gets out? If someone puts Night's new ending on the Internet, MY LIFE IS OVER!
Mrs Ari: Nobody's gonna know you did it.
Ari: Yes they will, because Night, that little sick fuck, printed my name [pounds roof with every word] on every fucking page!

[Ray the Bouncer talks to Vince about something]
Ray: Yo, Vin.
Vince: Hey! [clasps hands]
Ray: This is delicate.
Vince: What's that?
Ray: You know your boy you came in with? [referring to Beverly Hills mayor]
Vince: Yeah, what about him?
Ray: He's about to suck face with a tranny.
Vince: What? Come on!
Drama: That's no tranny, that's Annika!
Ray: Annika's got a bigger stuff than you do, Drama.