Psych quotes

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All Seasons
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Shawn: Let me tell you something. This cat here is a gift, a conduit for us to save lives. And he has more integrity in his furry little hand...
Gus: Paw.
Shawn: Paw. Than most people have in their whole appendages... Appendages?
Gus: What?
Shawn: All of. Than most people have in all of their appendages... combined.

Shawn: Let's go see our favorite weirdo.

Shawn: Life insurance policy?
Gus: It doesn't make any sense.
Shawn: Tell me about it. ...Dude, seriously, tell me about it. I have no idea what this means.
Gus: You never could understand legalese.
Shawn: Oh really? Remind me who it was who set up our Psych 401(k)s?
Gus: Oh, you mean our 601(k)s? Because India doesn't have 401(k)s.
Shawn: It's a growth economy, Gus. We've already made, like, 500 rupee.
Gus: That's thirteen dollars.

Shawn: Look around. You're the fish out of the water here.
Juliet: Because they're all pretending to be dead, Shawn.
Shawn: Or perhaps it is us, who pretend to be alive.

Shawn: Look Gus, he's literally taking her to the bank.
Gus: What's next, the cleaners? [point at each other]

Shawn: Look man, I have been shot! I am jumping on somebody's car!

Shawn: Look, Jules, you've got to take your chi back, take it back! And that means doing something big, something risky. Something that will help you blow this case wide open. [gets down on one knee] Marry me, Juliet.

Shawn: Look, there's a reason those books have sold almost 30 million copies, Gus.
Gus: Mostly to teenaged girls.
Shawn: And adult males who enjoy reading stories about vampire doctors and their disfunctional dating lives. You're one to talk, Mister "I bought Win a Date With Tad Hamilton on DVD.
Gus: There were 15 deleted scenes, Shawn. Fifteen!

Shawn: Look, this is the lodge radar. And look! This is me, flying under it. Ca-Caw Ca-Caw! And look! This is Gus. He cannot fly.

Shawn: Major General.
Major General Felts: Yes?
Shawn: Oh, no, I don't need anything. I just like to say "Major General". [To Gus] Try it.
Gus: No, Shawn.
Shawn: Gus, just try it.
Gus: No!
Shawn: Dude, just try it.
Gus: Major General! [smiles]

Shawn: Man, I wish I knew you when you were black.

Shawn: Mindy, it's official: you've won bitchiest banana.

Shawn: Mr. Haversham, it is my belief that we have done all there is to do here tonight.
[Lights in Haversham's House flicker rapidly]
Shawn: Tomorrow we will look into the history of the house, see if there's anything there that can help us.
[Lights malfunction again]
Shawn: Just don't have any leads at this point.
[Lights malfunction a third time]
Shawn: So, I think we should all pat each other on the backs for a job well done so far. Reconvene first thing here in the morning for a nice farmer's breakfast.
[Lights malfunction again]
Shawn: I have dinner plans with my mother.
[All lights turn off.]

Shawn: Mrs. Clayton, I'm receiving a psychic transmission from your husband. Really more of a voice mail. Status update. Perhaps a Twitter.
Gus: I believe it's called a tweet.
Shawn: I'm not saying that.

Shawn: My dad is a lying liar from Liarsburg!