Mira: [to Gus] You are so sweet.
Shawn: Yep, he's sweet alright. His head is like a chocolate covered honeydew.

Mrs. Gafne: I like my wine the same way I like my men. White, and hairy.
Shawn: That doesn't make any sense. None whatsoever. But I can see where Mira gets her spunkiness!

Nigel St. Nigel: [arriving at Henry's house] Good Lord! Who lives here, the Boringtons?
Shawn: There's a better than decent chance this goes poorly.

Nigel St. Nigel: I feel like an angel baby swaddled in a cocoon of cloud candy.(Talking about Henry's Robe)

Nigel St. Nigel: I feel like I have been incarcerated in a blueberry. This car makes me want to weep and then die.

Nigel St. Nigel: Nose hair trimmer. Invest.
Henry: Can you even remember what it felt like to be able to move the muscles in your face?
Nigel St. Nigel: Who decorated this place? Kris Kristofferson?
Henry: I built that table.
Nigel St. Nigel: Really? I'm pretty sure if I were to build a table, I would start by using wood that had never drifted.
Henry: All right. You know... that's it.
Nigel St. Nigel: Already? I'm just getting started. I've got a sonnet for each piece of fish paraphernalia.
Henry: Oh yeah? Well I've got an ice-cold can of whup-ass just sitting in that fridge!
Shawn: Actually it's diet whup-ass.

Nyna Clayton: You believe in karma, don't you?
Shawn: Yes, but that's only because we are karma chameleons.
Gus: We come and go.

Old Lady: [in a dance-ready pose with Gus, but standing still] Spin me! [neither moves] Marvelous!

Peters: How did you know she was lying?
Shawn: I'm a psychic, Peters.
Gus: How did you know she was lying?
Boones and Peters: [in unison] She's a woman.

Pierre Despereaux: Have you guys ever seen those Batman movies? [takes out a grappling hook gun, shoots it in the air onto the roof, and disappears] Toodle-oo!

Prescott: [reading a letter] "...signed "Shown" Spencer". You misspelled your name.
Shawn: I did that on purpose.
Prescott: No you didn't.
Shawn: You're right, I was on a hurry and I didn't have spell check.
Prescott: You need spell check for your own name?

Prescott: May I ask you a personal question?
Shawn: Sure.
Prescott: Have you ever been tested for idiocy?

Quintessa Gabriel: When you're done upstairs, can you go in the garage and get my nail gun?
Shawn: ...QUE?

Receptionist: There is a Lt. Crunch here to see you.
Gus: Crunch?
[Shawn enters dressed in Civil War uniform]
Shawn: Actually I've been promoted. It's Captain Crunch.

Roy: What are you guys, UFO chasers?
Shawn: Nothing as ridiculous as that. We're psychic detectives.