Ryan: I don't know if it's enough, but I did overhear a time a place and a name.
Gus: Come again.
Ryan: I know who, what and where.
Shawn: Ryan, that��that's everything we need to know. That's all of it. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?
Ryan: Because no one would let me.
Shawn: That's true, Gus, that's very true.
Gus: Yeah, I got that, Shawn. Just go ahead Ryan.
Ryan: The time was 10:00.
Shawn: 10:00.
Ryan: To 4:30.
Shawn: 10:00 to 4:30.
Ryan: Yeah.
Gus: A six hour window? What do your killers work at the cable company?
Shawn: It's okay. What's the place?
Ryan: 420��420 something. I didn't get a street name or an apartment number, but the address definitely has a 420 in it.
Shawn: Hmm.
Ryan: But the name I have.
Shawn: Perfect, what is it?
Ryan: Tom.
Shawn: Tom?
Gus: You wouldn't happen to have a last name, would you?
Ryan: Come on, guys! I can't do everything for you.

Ryan: The night before I went to this restaurant to get a basket of these things called "fries quatro quesos dos fritos"; you know, the ones where they inject potatoes with a four-cheese mixture, fry them three quarters of the way, pull them out, batter them, fry them again, and then serve them with bacon and a nacho chili sour cream? Anyway, as I was sitting there, a car speeds right through the storefront across the street. It makes such a loud noise I had to turn my head and look and that is when I overheard the guys with the curlicues on his face tell the other guy in the corner table about the assassination plot.
Shawn: Can that be true?
Gus: No way.
Shawn: I mean, is that even possible?
Gus: I couldn't imagine it!
Shawn: There's no way they could prepare a fry like that; that'd be way too much for the... for the human palate to manage!
Gus: It would be a flavor seizure.
Chief Vick: Gentlemen, please, don't be ridiculous.
Shawn: The Chief's right; let's just, just take a minute here to think this through. [pauses] They must be parboiling the potato first.

Sally: [Gus is wearing his Civil War uniform and plume] I think you look dashing. Personally I always loved the marching band.

Security Guard: How the hell did you two get in here? You're coming with me.
Gus: I don't think so!
Shawn: [flashing badge] BAM! Say it with me: Vis-i-tors baaaadge!
Gus: Do something. I dare you!
Security Guard: I'll be watching you.
Shawn: We'll be gettin' watched!

Security Guard: I'm sorry. I can't let you guys in.
Shawn: We're on the VIP list. Perhaps you recognize us as the modeling team Black and Tan.
Security Guard: Last names?
Shawn: No last names. One of us is Black and one of us is Tan. Just check the list.
Security Guard: Wow. It's really you. Right this way, Tan.
Shawn: Excuse me? I'm Black. He's Tan. I can't believe you just made that assumption. You should be ashamed of yourself and your family.

Shawn's Dad: Check out his resume.
Gus: He has a Masters in Psychology and Criminology from Harvard AND an MBA!
Shawn: Get outta here. He's got a Monkey Basketball League?

Shawn: He is very forgiving of others. For instance just the other day, I spilled the hot cocoa all over his genitals, and I say "I'm sorry", and everything is fine.

Shawn: (kissing waitress, grabs phone)
Waitress: What are you doing?
Shawn: I'm calling the police.
Waitress: Any particular reason?
Shawn: I think I just solved a case.
Waitress: You didn't tell me you're a cop...
Shawn: Me? Oh god, no. Wait! Does that disappoint you?
Waitress: No, I just thought you might have handcuffs...
Shawn: (grins) Oh, I have handcuffs.

Shawn: ...[Dutch] jumped Springfield Gorge.
Gus: That was Homer Simpson.

Shawn: Meat Is Murder by The Smiths; 1984, Van Halen; both missing.
Juliet: Are you sure?
Shawn: Of course I'm sure; they're clearly in order.
Juliet: Tears for Fears, Depeche Mode, Thompson Twins. What order were you using?
Shawn: Sweetness.
Juliet: Men Without Hats is sweeter than Echo & the Bunnymen?
Mr. Yang: More importantly, where are Devo and Talking Heads in all of this?
Season 6

Shawn: What are you saying? That he has a hunch based on unverifiable information?
Gus: That's what you use to solve every case!
Shawn: Okay, that stings. It's true, though.

Shawn: [about Henry's shirt] It's like a genocide of color...somewhere a rainbow is weeping.

Shawn: [about Juliet] She is an enigma wrapped in a little blonde riddle.

Shawn: [after Haversham's dog jumps on the window] That dog is kind of an A-hole.
Gus: I think he sees something.
Shawn: Yeah, urine stains on my pants!

Shawn: [annoyed] Your best man was a goat? Gus! I was supposed to be that goat!