Psych quotes

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All Seasons
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Lassiter: Where is the restaurant manager?
Shawn: Probably inside managing the restaurant.

Lassiter: You are free to believe what you want.
Shawn: Please don't say that to Gus. Now he'll just tell you that Michael Jackson isn't dead.
Gus: He learned how to fake his death from Lisa Marie.
Shawn: Which implies that Elvis is still alive.
Gus: Elvis died two years ago. Is there no end to your gullibility? I told you that two years ago. He was a cashier in the shoe shop, Shawn.

Lassiter: You brought a date to the crime scene?
Shawn: It was either this or ice skating.

Lassiter: You have a criminal record.
Shawn: I was 18.
Lassiter: Oh, 18? Well that makes it okay, let me just scratch this out.

Lassiter: You missed something. We found prints.
Shawn: Was he in a little red corvette?
Gus: Under a cherry moon?
Lassiter: FINGER-prints!

Lassiter: You solved all these crimes - what was it - watching the local channel 8 news reports?
Shawn: All right, I confess, that's not true. Sometimes I watch channel 5. I prefer channel 8. The weather girl? Adorable.
Lassiter: So you're telling us that you can read guilt off of TV interviews?
Shawn: Can't you?

Lassiter: You're not going anywhere because you're not on this case.
Shawn: Understood. DAAAAAD!
Henry: They're on this case.
Lassiter: Henry!

Lindsay Leiken: That's ridiculous.
Shawn: Is it? It's not like I'm wearing a giant moose costume.

Lorraine: This is a speed dating first! [to Shawn and Juliet] You and you are a 100 percent match from your personality questionnaires. I smell love!
Juliet: I need a drink.
Shawn: I gotta pee.

Major General Felts: I assume you realize this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated on my base!
Shawn: Is there another type of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

Marlowe: It's just a crazy coincidence. These nails were made popular by Jersey Shore.
Gus: Nice try Queen of the Damned.
Henry: JWoww does wear those nails when they go out clubbing.
(Everyone looks at him)
Henry: What? I'm not saying I'm buying her story.

Mary Lightly: I wanted to be heroic.
Shawn: Oh, Mary, with a flare gun?

Mary: [upon being asked why he's a guy named Mary] My father's name was Mary and his father before him was named Mary and his father before him was named Craig.
Season 4

Mary: Don't leave, Shawn. You will regret it.
Shawn: Good luck with the creepy arm grab awards this year, Mary; I think you've got a real shot at winning.

Maudette: Isn't cherry the best?
Gus: Best what?
Maudette: Everything, silly.