Christian: Can you believe the shit that passes for music these days?
Girl at bar: Maybe you should hang out here on Thursdays. It's oldies night.

Christian: Face it, Sean, we're not college kids anymore. Your hairline is up and your ass is down.
Sean: I'll be sure to put that on your 40th birthday card in a couple of weeks.

Christian: Fine, but it won't be a mole removal. You want out? It's gonna get invasive. I get the furniture which I picked out for the waiting room, the anesthesia machine. And Liz.

Christian: I didn't realize you are a bitter lipstick lesbian. I'm sorry for taking up your time.
Girl at bar: Actually, Christian, I love dick. Just not 40-year-old dick.
Christian: That's perfect, 'cause mine is 35. Why don't we go somewhere dark and private and you can count the rings around my trunk.

Christian: I'll have you arrested for statutory rape.
Ava: Matt's 17. By Florida laws he is a consenting adult.
Christian: You certainly know your rape laws.
Ava: For someone who according to Matt has had his share of teenage girls, you are stupid if you don't.

Christian: Look it's men. We're just wired that way, even if some small part of our brain actually gives a damn about your soul, it's always short-circuited by the part that wants to get into your pants.

Christian: Men age and society says we´ve become more rugged women age and they just become... old.

Christian: Once you've seen a woman's cum face, you've seen her soul.

Christian: Sorry I'm late.
Principal Wentworth: Have a seat, Mr. McNamara.
Christian: It's Troy. Dr. Christian Troy.
Principal Wentworth: I'm confused. I thought you were his father.
Christian: I am. I'm his, uh, biological father.
Matt: I have two dads.
Principal Wentworth: Well, was there a divorce? Oh, got it. Two dads. Emily Willis has two mommies. We're seeing more and more of this.
Christian: Matt's father is my partner, Dr. Sean McNamara.
Principal Wentworth: I understand.
Matt: They're not gay, Miss Wentworth. My Mom slept with Christian before she married my Dad.
Adrian: Technically, I don't have any father figures, but Matt's living in my house and screwing my Mom, so I pretend he's my Dad.
Ava: It's true, Miss Wentworth. Matt and I are lovers. I was his life coach.
Adrian: You see, Matt has a problem. He's a premature ejaculator.
Principal Wentworth: OK, enough. I deal with dysfunctional families on a daily basis. And trust me, everyone has a story, and none of you are that special.

Christian: The procedure is rare. This has nothing to do with your competence as a surgeon.
Sean: Or your technique as a lover.

Christian: There's a difference between being a pussy and being respectful of fear. It's what reminds me to slide on a johnny hat every time I perform a slipindicktomy on a woman of questionable standards.

Christian: Until now, the worst thing that's happened to this face is a rough exfoliate. I never even had a pimple as a kid.
Sean: Doesn't look like your orbits are involved, maybe just a deviated septum along with the fractured nasal bone. I'll reset it after surgery. You'll be fine.
Christian: Fine? This face? No, you gotta make it what it was before, Sean. Perfect.
Sean: I only do perfect, remember?

Christian: We had a system. If I had a girl in the room, I put the 'Man of Walk' album outside so you know not to come in. But you're the one who insisted coming in most of the time. Pussy, I knew what you wanted. You wanted to see me screw because it was the closest you could get to being laid.

Christian: We're not having a three way.
Sean: Why not, everything else has been... I'll pay, Julia.
Renée: Uh, my name's Renée.
Sean: Not tonight, tonight it's Julia [Christian blows out smoke while shaking head] ...Isn't this what you've always wanted, Christian? ...Isn't this your dream? ..To be with Julia and I here in this moment?
Christian: You're crazy.
Sean: And you haven't got the balls!
Renée: Maybe I should come back?
Christian: No.... Stay, Julia.

Christian: You lubricate acid. If I stuck my dick in you, it would sizzle off.
Ava: It would sizzle alright.
Season 3