Kimber: If hundreds of men can use my doll to get off four times a day, you screwing one Kimber wannabe isn't the end of the world. You are cheating on me with... Me!
Christian: So I can screw all your graduates now?

Kimber: Julia, Matt and I are in love. And I understand that becoming a grandmother brings up complicated feelings. But please don't make that our problem.
Julia: My eighteen-year-old son is having a child with a woman who happens to have slept with both of his fathers. There is nothing complicated about my feelings!

Kimber: On our first date, you said that I was an eight. You were honest with me. I need you to tell me what I am now as honestly as you did then. From one to ten.
[Christian draws the curtain and sees Kimber who has been carved. The Carver has reversed all her surgeries.]
Christian: I'll make you a ten again, sweetheart, I promise. I'll make you a ten again.

Kit: I had higher expectations of you Christian, but the truth is you're nothing more than a domesticated housecat with an expensive haircut, and no sense of adventure.
Christian: Domesticated or not there is no pussy for you here.

Kit: I just want to know what it's like for someone like you. An out lesbian working in a male-dominated field helping women stuff their bodies with silicone? Holding strong to those feminist beliefs must be awfully frustrating at times.
Liz: Let me save you the trouble, OK? I am not some bitter femmy Nazi trying to get back at the world. And I certainly didn't carve my bosses as payback for who they are. And beauty is not a curse, it's a commodity. And I've never had any illusions about what I do.
Season 4

Linda: These guys are crazy. The only reason I've moved here it's because they throwed a bunch of money at me. And the golf opportunities.

Liz: [referring to Christian] He's the only straight man I ever met who was arrogant enough to think that he could convert me. Sometimes, I hated the guy. But most of the time, I loved him.

Liz: [sensing the tension between Christian and Sean in the operating room] Is this pistols at 20 paces or is someone gonna get to work here?

Liz: [to Christian's broken nose] What happened to you? Husband come home early from work?

Liz: [to Christian] You really want to get inside a woman? Stop thinking like a dick.

Liz: [to Sean, about Christian] You've known him for twenty years and you would have never imagined that he was Matt's father.

Liz: Alright sailors, tankle away.

Liz: Does any one here besides me think there's anything morally reprehensible about a white man trying to pass himself off as a victim of the American racial hierarchy?
Christian: Sean, tell her to stop using all those big words around me.

Liz: Excuse me, someone in the lobby requests to see an arrogant, oversexed, antichrist.

Liz: His-and-her facelifts. If this is indicative of the state of relationships in the 21st century, then I'm staying single.
Christian: And cocker spaniels all over south Florida howl in relief.