Fornell: Anyone ever told you you're an insufferable bastard?
Gibbs: [pleased] Yeah.

Fornell: Directors want your word that you'll forget about Ari. They think you'll blow his cover.
Gibbs: If I get pay back, it won't be by blowing his cover. Why are you asking me this and not my director?
Fornell: He refused to.
Gibbs: [finally laughs] Yeah.
Season Two

Fornell: Realising how sad this sounds, you're the closest thing I have to a friend, Gibbs.

Fornell: [he and Gibbs walk into Director Vance's office without knocking and turn on the tv] You have a surveillance camera in the conference room now. Hope you don't have on in the elevator.
Vance: [is crouching behind desk going through files] We don't, not yet at least, Agent Fornell. [sits up] How can I help you?
Gibbs: To borrow your tv.
Vance: And my copy of Emily Post. Door was closed.
Gibbs: I thought you were in MTAC.
Vance: Well, we all make mistakes. That's why God invented knocking. McGee's int he conference room interviewing Susan Grady.
Fornell: You sure you don't have a camera in the elevator?
Vance: When I do, you'll be the first to know, Agent Fornell.

Fornell: Thanks for doing it my way.
Gibbs: Yeah, don't mention it.
Fornell: I was being facetious.
Gibbs: Yeah, me too.

Foster-Yates: So you and Ziva don't always agree on everything?
Tony: No, not everything. Healthy debates breeds, uh, creative solutions. Isn't that right, Ziva? [looks around them, puzzled] Where'd she go?
Ziva: [from investigating up in a tree, gestures how intruders got past] A few branches are missing up here. They go in, he goes up, then out [points] that gate. [her cell phone rings, she smiles down at them] Oh, it's McGee.
McGee: Hey. Gibbs wants you guys to come back.
Ziva: I'm up a tree.
McGee: Well, this might only confuse you further.
Ziva: Well, who said I was confused?
McGee: You said you were up a tree.
Ziva: I am!
Tony: Why is he calling you and not me? I'm the senior field agent.
Ziva: I don't know why he's not calling you, Tony. [McGee, on phone, says 'I did call.'] He's not making any sense.
McGee: And you're the one not making sense.
Ziva: He said he called you.
Tony: [looks at his cell] I'm not getting any signal. How come you're getting a signal and I'm not?
Ziva: Because I'm up a tree.
McGee: Oh.
Tony: Ohhh. We often solve cases like this.

Franks: Might be hard to believe, but I was in love once. Her name was Maggie. She had it all, quick as a fox, great curves, trusted her with my life.
Shepard: What happened?
Franks: Traded for a Harley-Davidson when the transmission blew.

Franks: Who the hell are all these people?
Abby: Oh. These are the new guys! Gibbs didn't tell you?
Franks: Man of few words.
Abby: I've noticed.

Franks: [Gibbs reads a letter from Franks] Too many years of lighting up finally caught up with me, probie.For 3 decades, I outran every bullet aimed at me. Can't out run this - not with this lungs. Only got a few months left to go. And I plan to live 'em.
Gibbs: Never one to dissapoint. Were you, Mike?

Gerald: I never figured anyone who could sleep in a coffin could have a phobia but it's the kind of kinky thing Abby would get.
Ari: She slept in a coffin?
Ducky: She's goth.
[Ari shudders]

Gerald: I've never driven a stick.
Abby: Are you serious?
McGee: What, you can drive a stick?
Abby: Yeah, since I was like ten.
Gerald: What were you driving when you were ten?
Abby: A red '47 Ford half-ton pickup with four on the floor and Bubba riding shotgun.
McGee: Bubba?
Abby: Best damn coon dog in Jefferson Parish.

Gerald: You shoved a French cop off a cliff?
Ducky: There was a lake below!
Gibbs: Sixty feet below.

Gibbs's voicemail: Gibbs. Talk.

Gibbs: ...and she plays golf left handed.
Kate: Whoa, wait, you could see that the clubs were left handed with just a passing glance?
Gibbs: My second wife played golf left handed.
Kate: So?
Tony: When someone tries to split your skull with a seven iron, it's not a club you soon forget.

Gibbs: [about a fist-sized crack in a wall] Sign of an unhappy marriage.
Ziva: Funny, I thought it looked like a hole in the wall.