Mr. Show quotes
217 total quotesFran, member of "Indomitable Spirit" (Sarah Silverman): I'm Fran, and I'm a woman.
Garry Flank documentary voiceover (Bob): That's when tragedy struck. Captain Tragedy.
Gary, the asshole party-crasher (David): You fuckers are gonna believe it now.
Gary, the blind guy Bob "helps" (David): Bob? BOB?! I don't spend my day fucking around on a television show. I have a company to run.
Gerald Hennessey Imposter (Bob Odenkirk): By the time this class is over, two of you will be murdered. One of you will commit suicide. One of you will get injured...in the leg. Two of you will quit law school because it's so hard...and you'll go off to run an apple butter farm.
Gerald Hennessey Imposter (Bob Odenkirk): This is not a playground so leave your lunchboxes at home, as well as your games, and um, jokes, and balls, and riddles.
Gerald Hennessey Imposter (Bob Odenkirk): You come in here with heads filled with soup, when you are done with law school, your brain will be like a steel trap with the bloody foot of law inside it, crying out for its mommy!
Girlfriend (Jill): ...you GAVE people blowjobs?
Boyfriend (Bob): The most people!
Boyfriend (Bob): The most people!
Glenn Petersen, phone sex guru (Bob): Horny Slut Hot-line. This is Peppermint.
Glenn Petersen, phone sex guru (Bob): You're just jealous because I'm more of a woman than you'll ever be!
Globo-Chem executive (John Ennis): My great great great grandfather started this company with one single rickety leaky hand-crafted slave ship, and a simple motto: "People Selling People to People".
Globo-Chem Theme Parks Division chairman (Bob): We are sensitive to the needs of those suffering from homophobia. So in our new San Francisco, we got rid of the dirt, but kept the pansies by creating "Bachelorland".
Globo-Chem Theme Parks Division chairman (Bob): When you see the new San Francisco, you'll say "San Fran-tastic!"
Gold tooth in "Rap The Musical" (Bob): Well, I'm an old gold tooth, and I'll tell you the truth. I live in the mouth of my homie.
Grandpa Timmy (unknown): And testicular electrocution would be administered to all those who get into monkeyshines!