Mr. Show quotes

217 total quotes



All Seasons  Season 1   Season 2  
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"All American Salute to the Last Indian" co-host (Paul F. Tompkins): The rap group, The Fuck-ups.

"Hell in a Handbasket" soldier (David): You are a dying asshole.

"Last Indian" piece narrator (Tom Kenny): I fuckin' saw God, Jack. And I laughed in his fuckin' face!

"The Limits of Science" educational film narrator (Bob): All facts start as dreams dreamt by a wizard.

Alexis Jung, designer, and constant chum of Nostradamus (David): Buckle the fuck up!

Benjamin Gerard, ice cream purveyor (David): "Rock & Roll Double Chunk". It has chocolate in it, and we figure if people like Rock & Roll music, they'll like this, cause it says "Rock & Roll" on it.

Bob Lamonta (David): I did grow a moustache, but I thought it made me look gay, so whoosh! [indicating its swift removal]

Bob Lamonta's father (Bob): I'm strong like the Hulk.

Bob Lamonta's father (Bob): My shoes hurt!

Bob/David: [chanting] Youth ... is truth! I wish "old" rhymed with "lies"!

Bob: Hey, who wants a banana?

Bob: Later, we'll be having a beauty contest, and the winner will be crowned "Queen Pretty"!!!

C.S. Lewis, Jr. (Bob): Don't mess around ... with God's America.

Carl Espick, editor of Value magazine (David): The Great Caruso wasn't nearly as great as, say, SAMMY HAGAR, the red rocker!

Chuck (Bob): Can't I just make you some sperm? It's really good.