Mr. Show quotes
217 total quotesChuck (Bob): Look, I like to masturbate in a closed room while people are waiting for pie to cool.
Commercial voice (unknown): Sponsored by Smithy's Barrows. Makers of barrows for over 200 harvests. Now with wheels.
Criminy Craffft (David): Eatin' an orange? That was like takin' a trip through a citrus mountain.
David: I, David Cross ... me, not the character ... am bald.
Jill: I accept you David, but I don't accept the choice you've made.
David: It's not a choice, Jill, God made me this way.
Jill: Then I reject God.
Jill: I accept you David, but I don't accept the choice you've made.
David: It's not a choice, Jill, God made me this way.
Jill: Then I reject God.
Delongpre Dannon's talkshow guest (David): Fake girl, you oughta be able to have your imaginary baby, because the most wonderful thing in the world is to be an imaginary mother.
Dingle, the ventriloquism dummy (David): Why don't you suck my eight inches of redwood?
Dylan, the pretentious hipster (David): Jupiter's Thunder!!! Rock & Roll is the most criminal of garbages...it is a crutch...it is a crutch! It will never sully my ears!!!
Elderly resident of community affected by Devastator (unknown): I ain't afraid of no rolley coaster!
Father of streaker Jimmy Montello (John Ennis): I slave 12 hours a day making pepper, to put clothes on your back, so you can go taking them off?!
Fran, member of "Indomitable Spirit" (Sarah Silverman): I'm Fran, and I'm a woman.