Mr. Show quotes
217 total quotesDroopy (Bob): No, you can't bring a class of school children here. This is a museum, not a babysitting place.
Season 2 (Nov. - Dec. 1996)
Season 2 (Nov. - Dec. 1996)
Dylan, the pretentious hipster (David): Jupiter's Thunder!!! Rock & Roll is the most criminal of garbages...it is a crutch...it is a crutch! It will never sully my ears!!!
Elderly resident of community affected by Devastator (unknown): I ain't afraid of no rolley coaster!
Ernie (Bob): Oh, Nancy. You cannot fly. Only British people can fly! You shouldn't try to fly, and you shouldn't listen to British people!
F.F. Woodycooks (Bob): The guard knew he needed to conserve energy...and had had a large dinner.
F.F. Woodycooks (Bob): You said it crime-stick! Those two were a couple of ding-a-lings! ... Now, who wants ice cream? If you want to learn more about how to take back the streets, and how sweet ice cream is, visit any one of my three ice cream-precinct locations.
Father Mike (Bob): When I ask for a glass of water and someone hands me a glass full of sand, I turn it over, make a sand castle, and pretend I'm king. When someone throws a stone at my head, I pretend the bruise is a faded tattoo, and that I was once a sailor who ran a sweat shop in Singapore. I'm not too proud of that time in my imaginary life, but I'm comforted by the fact that my friends, who made me stick a banana in my crack, feel even worse.
Father of streaker Jimmy Montello (John Ennis): I slave 12 hours a day making pepper, to put clothes on your back, so you can go taking them off?!
Father of Thomas, the adventurer (Bob): Nooooo! Let Thomas do it himself. Climbed Mt. Everest!?!?