Mr. Show quotes
217 total quotesNathan, the exotic animal lover (David): Just like I killed Bilbo...and the cockatiel...with a book!
Panzic Poojaran (David): Everyday people go into restaurants, and they...they take the condiments, and they take them and put them on the plate and mix it up and put it in their glass and they dare their friends to drink it. They...they think it is funny. RIGHT NOW I WOULD DRINK IT! AND I WOULD THANK THEM FOR IT!
Panzic Poojaran (David): If I die ... if I die ... tell my people ... to bury me ... in mashed potatoes!
Paul Peters, spokesperson for Dr. X's telethon (unknown): Please don't kill me!
Pharmacy "customer" (Brian Posehn): I know what you mean...my doctor says I need marijuana to get high.
Pit-Pat ad agency representative (Bob): Look lady, I don't come down to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth.
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): What?! I ain't no Professor Pickles!
Pickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob): Yeah, don't mess with the East Coast!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Look, I don't need you defending me, you Howdy-Doody-lookin' motherfucker. I'm outta here!
Pickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob): Yeah, I'm with him!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Man, step off!
Pickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob): Yeah, don't mess with the East Coast!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Look, I don't need you defending me, you Howdy-Doody-lookin' motherfucker. I'm outta here!
Pickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob): Yeah, I'm with him!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Man, step off!
Prospective Shoe Court Shoe Store employee (Bob): It was great. It's crack. It gets ya real high.
Reporter (David): And I understand you met Napoleon?
2000 lb. Old Man (Bob): Met him?...I et him!
2000 lb. Old Man (Bob): Met him?...I et him!