Friends quotes

613 total quotes



[a woman has just run away from Chandler because of his bracelet Joey gave him]
Chandler: He could've gotten me a hat or a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me THE WOMEN REPELLER! The eyesore from the LIBERACE HOUSE OF CRAP!
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Chandler: Easy for you to say; you don't have to go around wearing a REJECT from the MR. T COLLECTION! [Imitating Mr. T] "I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry! I do, I do!"

[after Rachel kisses Ross]
Phoebe: See?! He's her lobster!

[Chandler has just told Eddie to get out of his apartment]
Eddie: Well, that's kinda outta the blue.
Chandler: [Angry] THIS IS NOT OUT OF THE BLUE! THIS IS SMACK-DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLUE!

[Joey and Chandler are trying to find Ben with two possible babies to choose from, one wearing a duck shirt, the other clowns, by flipping a coin]
Joey: Let's do ducks for heads, cause ducks have heads
Chandler: [After a pause] What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?

[Joey and Rachel are waiting for Phoebe to get back from her father's house]
Joey: [Pulling out a sandwich] Want half of my sandwich?
Rachel: What kind is it?
Joey: Ham and olive spread, no mayo.
Rachel: [Sarcastically] Right, right, 'cause mayo would make it gross.

[Monica is watching Chandler sleep; Chandler, agitated by Eddie doing so, screams, causing her to scream]
Chandler: Why must everybody watch me sleep? There will be no more watching me sleep!
Monica: I was-
Chandler: Nah! No more.

[Rachel and Ross making out, Ross turns over on Rachel]